[HereGoesNothin]

About a month ago, I started SIing again after a few months of being clean. I don't know exactly why I do it, but it makes me feel better, at least for a little bit. Sometimes I do it because I feel like I need to, like it's an addiction, and other times I do it because I'm feeling suicidal, I know I don't have what it takes to do it like that, but I just feel better getting the blade right up next to the vein and pressing, knowing with a little more pressure I could end it. Sometimes I feel distressed and like I'm dealing with too much emotionally and I can't handle it, so again, I give myself a type of pain I know how to deal with, something to take my mind off the real issues in my life.
I don't know if I want to stop, but I know it isn't healthy, and it hurts my girlfriend so much when she finds out.

[ifst5]

What about switching to some other unhealthy yet potentially less damaging habits? Maybe indulging in say, i don't know, more junk food now and then, being lazy more often, neglecting a few unimportant things...such advice i wouldn't normally give but there are countless posts here where people pressurize themselves so strongly that it's no wonder they feel like such failures when they relapse into SI.

If engaging in more positive activities doesn't work and you find that pressurizing yourself less over quitting doesn't actually reduce the amount of episodes - far better then to try and swap to some other less severe habits than scar your mind and body further.

Eventually though, the emotions behind what's driving you to such behaviour MUST be dealt with, it's the only way to actually move on with life successfully and depend on healthier behaviours when life gets tough.

Just a few suggestions i've plucked out the air - if you feel this behaviour is far more indicative of addiction or the episodes themselves are extreme and potentially very damaging, please make sure you're seeking the appropriate professional help to guide you in such matters. I hope you feel better soon.

[HereGoesNothin]

Originally Posted by ifst5

What about switching to some other unhealthy yet potentially less damaging habits? Maybe indulging in say, i don't know, more junk food now and then, being lazy more often, neglecting a few unimportant things...such advice i wouldn't normally give but there are countless posts here where people pressurize themselves so strongly that it's no wonder they feel like such failures when they relapse into SI.

If engaging in more positive activities doesn't work and you find that pressurizing yourself less over quitting doesn't actually reduce the amount of episodes - far better then to try and swap to some other less severe habits than scar your mind and body further.

Eventually though, the emotions behind what's driving you to such behaviour MUST be dealt with, it's the only way to actually move on with life successfully and depend on healthier behaviours when life gets tough.

Just a few suggestions i've plucked out the air - if you feel this behaviour is far more indicative of addiction or the episodes themselves are extreme and potentially very damaging, please make sure you're seeking the appropriate professional help to guide you in such matters. I hope you feel better soon.

I really appreciate the advice, but I mean I already eat too much junk food, and I kind of never study for class when I should, so those are out of the question. I've tried getting involved with clubs and organisations on campus, but I just don't seem to fit in with them and end up feeling more neglected. I'm trying to get a new therapist sometime next week, so hopefully I can deal with the emotions and solve the problem directly.