It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part 2

I don't know what to say. I'm not good on the phone. Maybe I could try when I'm not in a crisis? Tell the person on the other end I'm just trying before I need it. I called my sister the other night crying and she doesn't know how to help me. I don't think my meds are working.

Calling when not in crisis sounds good to me.

I feel like giving in. Just don't feel like dealing with the blood.

Hang in there Breadfish! What else helps you get past the urges?

Nothing really helps.. I just try to pass the time till the urges go away.

I believe this is day 8.

Just finished cleaning up and covering the wounds.. guess that makes it about 5 minutes.

Almost emailed T to tell her, but then I realized she'd probably email me back asking me to analyze what I was feeling and thinking and whatever, and as I really don't feel like doing that I didn't email her.
Now here's to hoping she doesn't ask whether I SIed next appointment (Thursday).

((((Breadfish))))))

Thinking of you......and, I know you don't want to "think" about the feelings, etc but do try to be honest with your T if she asks you...

You can do this!

Thanks.

Yeah, I'll try. Thanks.

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5 weeks. I haven't even felt like doing it for the last 3!

So glad to hear your news B & B!

Great, B&B!

I just emailed my T to confess.

Great! Proud of you!

Well done Breadfish!

Thanks.

Day 19....doing okay.

Nice work CrazyLo!

Minutes ago. I ****ed up. Big time. And it still isn't enough.. Don't know what to do

hiddensecret, what are the possibilities?

(((((hiddensecret)))))

I don't even know

I have another week until I see my T. I'm thinking about seeing my GP to sort out something to help me sleep... And in the morning I probably need to head to minor injuries... But how I stop this I have no idea.

6 days

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The GP and heading to minor injuries sound like good ideas. Can you contact your T by phone or email before next Thursday?

I'm not entirely sure really. I have no email for him, I could phone but it's pretty difficult to get hold of him and even if I did he will be too busy to see me sooner. NHS and all that..

I really don't want to go to minor injuries, I'm too ashamed. But I don't think I have much choice Why do I do this to myself?!