It has been ___ days since I SIed -- Part 2

Comgratulations JoBo! Excellent work!

It has been 13 years for me. Thank GOD!!!!!!!!

Nicky123 I am so happy for you! What worked for you to get so exceedingly far?

Wow Nicky123, that's amazing!

3 years 9 months...

So well done, BeBrave483! Congratulations!

1,5 months.. unless you count not using sunscreen lotion because I think it's too expensive (my mom buys it) for someone as worthless as me.

Breadfish: You are doing terrific either way! But please use sunscreen. (((((Breadfish)))))

I like to read your posts and you are not worthless to me.

Thanks, Bill3. It really means a lot to me that you say that.

Well, I just emailed my T about the lack of sunscreen (and aftersun, and basic precautions that would prevent me from accidentally cutting me in my fingers when preparing tomatoes or pears..). I have a session tomorrow and I don't think I'll manage to bring it up unless she asks, and maybe not even then. So I emailed.

Now I want to curl up and die. But I'm immortal so that won't happen. Sigh..

I just emailed my T asking her to ignore my last email. I really don't want her to know.

5 days.
I have been doing this for 25 years, I was crazy to think I can ever stop...

A while. But I've been feeling a lot of impulses to do self destructive things like cutting, drinking, abusing substances, starving myself. I really don't want to do any of these so trying to keep it under control.

Zero...not sure why that matters anymore.

One moment at a time and celebrate those small victories.

Just spoke with T on the phone (she comes to my home and called to tell me she'd be late). She mentioned my first email saying it was good that I'd sent it and that we would discuss it when she got here, and didn't say anything about my second email asking her to ignore the first.

You can always tell her that you decided that you don't want to discuss it after all. But maybe give it a chance and see how it goes?

(((((Breadfish)))))

Yeah. Though I don't mind so much if she brings it up - I just feel like a whiner when I do.

We didn't talk about it a lot in session. Just that she wishes I'll take better care of myself because my body doesn't deserve this. And that while this behaviour is not really problematic yet, it's only a small step from this to more severe SI.

Today is day 22......

8 months so far, but I feel the need surfacing.

Well done and hang in there, BeautifulDisasters!

Excellent work, i don't matter! Congratulations!

Well done! That's already over a third of the two months!

A week. My cuts are all healed now and the only bruising I have is from walking into my garage door. I'm managing to drink almost enough and don't deliberately keep myself thirsty. I still want to do all those things (and more) so badly.