a lot going on

so i have a lot going on. i'm planning my wedding and every detail is stressing me out. trying to find a new job because the one i have is not paying well and hours suck. living situation is terrible and on top of having bipolar and borderline personality my moods are out of control. seen my counselor yesterday and she told me i needed to take time for myself and try to relax. my perfectionism and OCD are very evident in everything im doing. I didnt realize it until my counselor told me that in session i started to dissociate. the way i normally deal with overloaded stress is to cut. i have 4 1/2 months without cutting but now i am having a super rough time to fight not to give in. any advice or anything will be great at this point. thanks yall

Hello AngelPromise: Well... you certainly do have allot on your plate, so to speak. And your T is probably correct. You need to take time for yourself & try to relax. Of course, as all of us here on PC know this is allot easier to say than it is to do. And you clearly don't want to return to cutting!

Unfortunately, I don't know if I can really offer much in the way of advice. I wonder if it might be possible to cut back on some of what you're doing or perhaps enlist some assistance with the details of planning your wedding. Perhaps consider getting on some med's or review, with your doctor, what you're currently on if you're already on med's. Perhaps talk, with your fiancé, about how stressed out you're feeling & see if your fiancé can help to lighten your load. Take time for things like exercise, if you're not already doing so. It can help with anxiety.

From my perspective, I think the danger here is that you may look for some kind of "magic trick" that will enable you to fly above all of the irons you have in the fire at the moment. But the fact is, there is none. You simply have allot of very stressful things going on in your life at the moment & you're going to have to perhaps put some of it on hold or transfer some of it to others who can help out. And, in addition, you're going to need to find some time for things that will help you to unwind, whether it be exercise or some other pastimes.

You know, one other thing to consider here is... yes you have allot going on right now & it's stressful. But there's a good chance that these types of stressful situations are going to come again. Being married & working, trying to manage a home, & possibly having children can be incredibly stress producing. So, from that perspective, there is probably some value in looking at your present situation as being training in, & preparation for, all of those stress-producing situations you're likely to face in the future. My best wishes to you...

I think SI for me is kind of a weird way of my trying to take care of things on my own. I know I'm in trouble when I start isolating from people and not letting others know what's going on with me. If I'm talking to other people and asking for help, it kind of ruins SI for me.