hate waking to this...

woke up to really strong urges to cut, and they are not getting any easier... trying my coping skills... :/ hate this struggle.

The struggle certainly does suck. Nights are worse for me and tend to get most of my destructive urges during that time. Pain to sleep when you want to cut. Keep holding out and fighting it though ((hugs))

thanks. nights are usually worse for me too... it's a crappy day when I start as soon as I wake up :/
giving in to the depression today and staying in bed. hoping it helps me in the "not cutting" department...

Oops... the reinforcers are too great... it stops everything immediately:the flashbacks, the si, the worthlessness... maybe I'll never be free of this. Maybe that's ok. Maybe I need to walk away from therapy. Maybe it would just be better that way...

I don't know that it'd be better. Could it be enough to cut down? Concentrate on the other issues and perhaps the SI takes care of itself.

I am kinda trying to just concentrate on the trauma stuff, but this new T is still pretty worried about the sh... I know it will be part of the conversation on Thursday, but that conversation will also address the trauma stuff.
Hoping I can keep the sh from getting too bad this round. it would sabotage the therapy if it did, so I need to try to keep it under control. The crappy thing is that I feel it creeping up to the "sh for the sake of sh because it feels good" status...

i hope things get better for you.

hugs..

I know the feeling.

my therapist keeps hounding me on triggers...... and yes - I have triggers for some things. But other times I just wake up feeling like i have to.

:/

I've never woken up with those feelings... Until early this morning. My dogs woke me up at 4am as if they needed to potty. I get up to take them out and they stayed in bed. I was so unbelievably agitated. I go back to the bedroom and then they decided to get up. When I finally got back to bed I start crying. Not sure exactly why besides my day from hell. Next thing I know, I'm reaching for

I finally fall asleep without hurting myself and then the alarm goes off 30 minutes later.

I definitely empathize. I'm sorry, I know how much of a struggle it is.

Achy, can't help but wonder if your puppies were sensing your agitation? Sorry you had such a rough night/morning.

I think that they must be more tuned in to my moods than I realize. Interesting thought you had.