[KaceFace]

I have recently been really struggling with depression. I have felt that I've always had it but it was never this severe. I am 21 and have never cut myself before but I have recently been thinking about it. I used to have thoughts of suicide and ways to do it and cutting myself but never had real intention. I have those same feelings and thoughts now but now the thoughts of cutting myself are getting stronger. I bite the inside of my cheeks and lips so much that I bleed sometimes and eating spicy food burns. I also bite my nails but not just the nails, I bite the skin around my nails and cuticles so much that I start to bleed and putting on hand sanitizer burns. I would also pull my hair and bite my fingers when I would get so angry and upset. I guess biting my nails and the inside of my cheeks/lips is my way unique way of self harming but now the urge to cut has gotten stronger even though I know I shouldn't...

Hi KaceFace
Are you in any kind of treatment for your depression? Seeing a therapist or on meds? It's important that you can get some support in real life. I first started cutting when I was 14, over 10 years ago now. I so wish that I had never started, because 10 years down the line I'm still at it. It becomes a habit, an addiction so quickly and easily that it's almost impossible to catch it. Thats been my experience anyway. I wish I had got help much sooner than I did....

[FallingTears]

Originally Posted by KaceFace

I have recently been really struggling with depression. I have felt that I've always had it but it was never this severe. I am 21 and have never cut myself before but I have recently been thinking about it. I used to have thoughts of suicide and ways to do it and cutting myself but never had real intention. I have those same feelings and thoughts now but now the thoughts of cutting myself are getting stronger. I bite the inside of my cheeks and lips so much that I bleed sometimes and eating spicy food burns. I also bite my nails but not just the nails, I bite the skin around my nails and cuticles so much that I start to bleed and putting on hand sanitizer burns. I would also pull my hair and bite my fingers when I would get so angry and upset. I guess biting my nails and the inside of my cheeks/lips is my way unique way of self harming but now the urge to cut has gotten stronger even though I know I shouldn't...

Secret Whisper is right!
Please don't start!
I think hurting yourself is the worst behaviour mental illness has to offer....
Get help BEFORE you start!

[skyxblue]

If you feel this way you should get some help. I wish I never started. I'm ashamed to say how long it has been for me. There is so much that goes with self harm after you start. It becomes an addiction like Secret Whisper said. Talk with a therapist that understands sh. SH isn't understood by a lot...even those that are suppose to help. Please find some help before you start.

[KaceFace]

But that's the thing, I am on medication and do have a therapist. I haven't talked to her about this yet though.

[skyxblue]

I would talk to your therapist. Test them out about how they view sh. In my case I have had a few T's who weren't understanding.

i really would talk to your therapist about this. their insight can be so helpful. you're not alone.

[FallingTears]

Originally Posted by KaceFace

But that's the thing, I am on medication and do have a therapist. I haven't talked to her about this yet though.

Do you see her soon?
Definitely tell her BEFORE you start!

[KaceFace]

Yeah. I see her on Tuesdays.

[FallingTears]

Tell us how u go!
She might tell you to go far far awaaay from this forum so you're not even THINKING about it!
Good Luck

FT

Have you already been to see your T today? Did you tell her? How did it go?

forgot to say, if you can avoid it, PLEASE try not to get into cutting, i know it's so hard, but cutting is incredibly addictive and difficult to stop.

[KaceFace]

Yes, I saw her on Tuesday. It went alright. She was understanding. I told her about my nail biting and biting my cheeks and she figured it was more of an anxiety thing so we decided to increase the dosage of my medication. She reminded me that sh is just a temporary release, that it doesn't really make things better, it actually makes things worse. But I still feel the urges. My psychiatrist said to find other ways to release anxiety. something that gets me moving.

I'm glad she was understanding. Hopefully, the advice helps.