[amicyco2]

At work I could feel the mood getting darker and the urge to cut getting stronger and stronger. I began writing on my wrists with my pen like I had a razor cutting myself without thinking. My friends know of my illness and could see I was in trouble and kept talking to me to bring out what was wrong with me in hopes if I talked about it I wouldn't do anything. As the day progress my mood darkened even worse and by lunch I a so down and mumbling to myself about where I was going to cut that my friends dragged my outside and wouldn't let me go near my locker where my purse was and where my razor is so I couldn't cut myself at work. I hadn't taken my meds for the day either so they forced my to take my pills telling me its for my own good and if I didn't they would call my therapist and my husband so I took them. My mood lifted alittle an hour later and the urge to cut passed and without there help who knows how deep I would've gone this time cause I was really feeling down and out. My body is scared from all the cutting as it is so I really don't need another one. Went to bed after work feeling drained from all the emotions of the day.

Lin-Lin

[PlanningtoLive]

It is so important to take your meds when you are supposed to. They keep your system balanced so that things hopefully don't get so bad.

I would check in with your doctor/therapist and let them know how badly you felt and maybe they have more ideas.

You are very lucky to have such observant, caring friends. They were there for you at a time when you really needed them, that's great.

Please take care of yourself.

Mary Alice

[Zenobia]

lin-lin,
I am so happy your friends were there for you. That you were able to tell them enough of your problems that they were able to do what needed to be done to help you and that they felt safe in helping you. This is such a wonderful thing.

Like Mary Alice said, it would be good for you to tell your therapist exactly what happened so that maybe the two of you will be able to come up with solutions before it happens again. And as always it is important to take your meds as directed.

It was a close call but with the help of your friends you made it through it. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{lin lin}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft