[Fuzzybear]

Possible trigger:

End of the line, too scared, too bored, too tired, too trapped by multiple health issues, too violated by an idiot of a GP who I can't forgive but too ****ing"stupid" to end this "useless" life. So ****ing tired of having to censor EVERYTHING IRL
Wish I knew how to disappear from this life and it looking like an an accident. But he was "right" I'm ****ing stupid, an idiot, a "loser" so no reason to continue this existence

[gayleggg]

Oh, Fuzzy, I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. :sadhug;

[LettinG0]

Oh! Fuzzy



No....no.....no....

Just keep saying no to all those terrible thoughts in your head because they are lying to you!

I am sooooo sorry you are going through so much right now. Even though I don't know exactly about everything going on.....you are not a loser...life is just really hard sometimes......so sorry you were violated by a gp....

Please just keep posting and know that you are loved very much!

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks please ignore my post, it doesn't matter

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Thanks please ignore my post, it doesn't matter

(learnt the "lesson" well, how I don't matter

How deep does it have to be, how much do I have to bleed until They are satisfied


I hate being me


(not about anyone on pc)

[LettinG0]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

(learnt the "lesson" well, how I don't matter

(not about anyone on pc)

Not ignoring it or you....You DO matter! Very much!

[TheOriginalMe]

Fuzzy, you are not stupid and you do matter. It is the NHS that is broken and not you.

I understand how hard it is when standard medications cause health issues that are as bad or worse than the condition they treat. It leaves people like you and me with no way out because GPs and pdocs refuse to look for alternatives unless they are within the guidelines. Once we have no way out we develop bad coping mechanisms, like SI and when they don't work we have to do more and more or go deeper and deeper. Unfortunately GPs and pdocs dismiss their failings to act appropriately as manipulation on our part, as if we actually wanted to feel this c**p!

You are the same sweet, loving bear as always, you are important to everyone who has ever received one of your hugs. I do know how bad you are feeling, but I am selfish and don't want you to disappear, ((((((Fuzzybear)))))).

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks so much. Yes you're completely right about the NHS They love to point out our perceived "failings", perceived "manipulation" etc to excuse their appallingly inadequate and often abusive "treatment" GROWL
Often it does feel like its my "fault" though, just like with the parents

((((((((( TheOriginalMe )))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( LettinGO ))))))))

Originally Posted by LettinG0

Not ignoring it or you....You DO matter! Very much!

[CopperStar]

You don't have to forgive the GP. They don't deserve it.

Virtue and neutrality are not the same thing.

Sometimes virtue is furious, sometimes it demands actual justice, sometimes it doesn't forgive, because it doesn't tolerate evil. It abhors evil and actively stands against it.

If you are enraged, well that makes sense. Both from a virtuous perspective and from an instinctive perspective. Especially considering that if they abused you, chances are they abused others, and are currently abusing other people.

Anger doesn't feel very good, but it's natural and healthy under such circumstances. However the worst possible thing that a person can do with justified anger is direct it inwards at themselves. In that moment they become an abuser, as well. Just because you only abuse yourself, doesn't mean you're not abusing someone. Because you are someone.

Make the choice to not be that which you despise.

[ThisWayOut]