Sliding backwards...

I was hospitalized for a week in February for severe depression and since have been doing really well. I've had some ups and downs but have really leveled out mood-wise recently. I'm back at work and it's going just fine, I'm hanging out with my friends and spending time with my family. Things are good. I was having difficulty quitting my self-harming habit - it's been with my for half my life (literally) so it's hard to give up even in the good times. My psychiatrist prescribed a med called Naltrexone which is actually used for people with alcohol abuse/opiate abuse problems. It blocks the dopamine receptors that provide the "good feelings" one gets from drinking or abusing opiates. It's also had some success when used to treat addictive behaviors like self-harming by blocking those same good feeling or feeling of relief/release. I've been taking it for a little more than two months. It takes care of most of my cravings to self-harm and the one time I did cut myself I got nothing out of it. No relief, no release, nothing. I stopped taking it last night and I didn't take it again this morning. I feel like I can't breathe. Like I might burst. I need a release and nothing is working. So if I stop the Naltrexone I'll be able to get the relief from cutting again. I know it's wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But I can't breathe. This was my outlet for 16 years. I need it back.

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MissLabarinth

Unfortunately at times I find it hard to resist sometimes too. You have to think positively though, there has to be another way to release safely. Usually for me its drawing even though the drawings are scary or weird it helps me. Stay safe.

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so much at the moment. You can get through this! It is possible to overcome. It takes time and patience and being gentle on yourself though We all struggle and slip up at times.

I know those cravings - I know how hard they can be but they do pass and in time they do get easier to manage. In time you can find a release that doesn't involve harming yourself. There are a lot of different suggestions of things that have helped people in this thread.

Can I ask why you stopped taking the Naltrexone? Is your doctor aware? They might be a good place to start if you haven't spoken to them. Also, do you have a therapist? While medications can be extremely helpful it can also often help to have someone to talk to and to work on other coping strategies so that maybe you can manage without the meds but also manage the cravings as well.

There is a world for you where your only outlet doesn't need to be meds or cutting. I know it sounds crazy at the moment but it is possible to do.