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DePressMe
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Default May 25, 2007 at 04:58 PM
  #1
This post contains triggers! I am a cutter and I don’t hide my scars. My scars speak of who I am, what I have gone through and who I am becoming. My numerous scars represent the violence that happened to me—the sexual abuse and neglect. They scream that I was raped as a child, they scream that I was beaten and tortured, they scream that I am hungry, they scream I need help, please help me…they softly whisper you are okay, the pain is gone, you are safe… There is no shame in cutting myself—it was a way to cope with overwhelming emotions. It was like taking a vacation—getting out of hell for a brief moment.

Today, my scars are part of who I am—there is no denying my past—it happened—it will never go away—no matter how much the world ignores it. So, go ahead and close your eyes and pretend you don’t see them…I don’t wear them as a badge of honor—I am not proud of them—I am not shoving it in your face, but then again I am not going to hide them to make you feel comfortable—to let you live in your “perfect” world of ignorance. So, ask me if you want or acknowledge them if you care…I understand that not everybody is strong enough to say something, but admit it in your heart…silently honor my innocent little child that the world failed to protect.

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Direction
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Default May 25, 2007 at 05:36 PM
  #2
I am speechless - just wanted to let you know that I read your post and that I care.

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DePressMe
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Default May 25, 2007 at 05:56 PM
  #3
Thanks for posting Direction--It felt good to write that out...those are thoughts and feelings that have been bubbling inside for awhile.

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SecretGarden
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Default May 25, 2007 at 08:40 PM
  #4
Wow DePressMe... What a post. Very very powerful. Thank you for sharing.

I think that I would ask you when I got to know you a bit as I am curious and I would like to know about you and your journey and those marks certainly tell a story. I suppose I think this of different surgeries I have had... the marks tell a story. Yours are more powerful. How does it feel when people look but do not ask and how well would you like to know someone before they ask you? I might feel more comfortable asking you in this venue then at a party say... Just curious.

I feel that your post is publishable and I feel that these words should be a piece of art...framed within your house..... and the house of others traveling a path of self harm. You are empowered and empowering and inspiring.

Rock on.
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lenjan
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Default May 25, 2007 at 08:54 PM
  #5
I don't hide mine either, but I'm trying to remember if I've ever run into anyone who obviously looked but didn't ask. Most people ask me. I tell them or don't depending on my mood right then.

Always nice to meet someone else who goes through this. (((DePressMe)))

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