i tossed my sharps in a big pile of dirt at a construction site this morning. hopefully no one mistakes them for murder weapons.

my boyfriend had me promise to check in with him when these things happen. i did it secretly once. we'd been playing payday 2 and i wrecked every heist and the guilt was too much.

Possible trigger:

i tore my arm to shreds, my poor left arm always takes all the abuse these days.

i finally had the balls to tell him last night mid-episode and he told me to throw them away as soon as i could. said he'd sleep better at night knowing i don't have easy access to them. it's nice to be cared about for a change. maybe i'll actually stop this time.

[puzzclar]

It's up to you if you want to stop but it is a hard road but well worth the journey!

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[Fizzyo]

It's your choice every time.... I'm so glad you have support now, I hope this will help you with your efforts to make safer choices.

[Coffeelover1920]

Recovery is a long road but if you want it I think it is worth it. I was recovered for two and a half years and I dealt with extreme urges for quite some time (maybe a year) and then they slowly started to decrease in frequency. Don't get me wrong I still got urges but they were less extreme and they would come from time to time instead of every day. Basically, it does get better and if you can make it through the extreme urges you'll start noticing the frequency decrease.

I think that you should lean on your boyfriend for support. It seems like he does care a lot about you so I am sure he would want to help support you through this.

Best of luck.

[Fizzyo]