Might be relapsing..

I started self harming in mid 2012...

I recently went to america for 3 months where i managed to not self harm.. I guess it was because I was busy all the time and had was living with other people so there was no real escape.

Now I'm home, I've been feeling ok, nothing bad and nothing great but today I suddenly released that I was holding my blade in my hand, I didn't do anything with it but the I was tempted!

I don't understand why now? Am I going back to my old ways again!?

The thing with self harm that I think a lot of people don't realise is that it can become an addiction. It becomes a go to coping mechanism, an almost automatic response. It is not something that you can just quit. You need to learn new ways to cope. There is a sticky at the top of this forum, things to do instead of hurting yourself. Maybe you could lookat this for some ideas of alternatives.

Hi Joojams,

I'm struggling to overcome a self harm addiction too. I get cravings, just like a smoker would get for cigarettes. I'm lucky there is a specialist in my area that can help me PASH is in my area, maybe it's worth researching your locality. I recently relapsed, but am working on my attitude and will make contact with them on Monday with the plan to stop again and hope to stick it out this time.
People do relapse and get back on the wagon, and I am reliably informed that it is possible to quit.

Good luck. I really hope you can work through this and restart after any relapse.
Mega hugs and encouraging thoughts to you.

Be understanding towards yourself and it's easier then to get up again when you fall.