Doing ok

Just wanted you all to know that I am doing ok. Still stable and have not hurt myself in almost 3 months. Yippee! I feel as if I am almost ready to come back and participate more but there is still a need to limit stimulation. As I have said a couple of time I am experiencing an internal shift and have needed time, space and quiet to allow it to happen. It feels so strange. In the past I would get into this space and need it too stop. It feels so...I don't know devoid of feeling but so full of feeling...it feels like waiting for something to happen but not knowing what it is that I am waiting for. It normally would drive me out of my mind but I decided that this time I would just let it happen, not fight it, not push it, not even try to understand it. I have avoided talking about it it because that means trying to put it into words and that means trying to make sense which raises the anxiety. Instead I am just flowing with it. I have spent my time working in the yard and taking care of my house. When I am alone I spend my time in the quiet. During the day I leave the lights off and just use natural lighting. I have spent my time in contemplation, letting thoughts come as they will, turning them over once and then letting them go.

Anyway, I just wanted you all to know that I am doing fine and am thinking of you. It will probably be a little while longer before I am ready to come back and participate here fully.
In light and love,
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft

(((((((((((((Carrie)))))))))))))))

Hi there! I am so proud of you! Thank you for keeping us posted on how you are doing......you are an inspiration to so many.

Keep taking care of yourself.


Heather

Ditto. Great to hear from you, Zen
Take care,
DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

well you take the time you need, We will be here for you when you do come back ..

I am glad you hvae centerd yourself and do feel much better..
Now mybe i can try to do what you have did, and get back on track and get back on my wagon..
love you

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Carrie,

It's nice to have you back, and I'm so glad that you are doing ok. I wasn't worried though. I have always had a strong feeling that you will be ok. Take all the time you need, and thanks for the update.

Wendy

<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>

Hi! I haven't read your posts before. Probably because I came while you were taking a break. It sounds like you're doing such wonderful self care. I felt calmer just reading your post. Thank you for sharing your journey. Annie

Glad to see you posting and glad you are doing ok



Take time just for you.

Karen

Thank you to all my old friends, Heather, DE, my beautiful Lady and Wendy, for all you support. It is lovely being able to take a break and come back to such warm words. And Thank you Annie and Karen. I am glad to make your acquaintance. I look forward to getting to know you better and list you under the title "Old Friends".
Love,
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I agree with Heather, you are an inspiration to me. I also have always had the feeling that you will be ok, ever since I first joined this forum I am sorry I didn't reply to this before... It's great to hear from you and I'm glad you're doing so well!

Take care,
Fuzzy

you are very welcome..


<font color=purple>
Take time, and heal thyself before trying to help others.

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