Why do we do the things we do?

I'm relieved to share that I didn't cut myself tonight. I had taken a knife out of the drawer to cut somethiing and my thoughts went directly to Gee, I could cut myself with this knife and I'd feel better in some respects.... I hate how I think things like this; it stresses me out sometimes. I am definately glad I didn't though; just worried if that pattern is going to continue, u know?

Sometimes coping is on a case by case basis. I am so glad that you were able to withstand cutting. You seem to be determined to withstand the urge which is great. After time and you using different coping mechanisms hopefully the urge will lessen. Please try and stay safe. You are doing a wonderful job.

BB

Hi evildouble102,

It’s really good to hear that you were able to work through this thought of cutting. I know what you mean about thoughts like that stressing you out. I’ve been free from cutting for 5 months now but have to take it day by day. I get disturbed too when an object I’m using triggers an SI thought. For me, I think it’s bothersome because I expect too much of myself. For example, “I haven’t SI in 5 months so therefore I shouldn’t even be thinking these thoughts anymore, otherwise it ‘ll all come back.” We’re all so hard on ourselves. I guess it’s a matter of focusing on the positive to relieve the negative. You had a thought to cut but you didn’t act out on it which gives you great reason to believe that you are growing stronger! That’s very positive. Hold onto that and recognize the strength you gain each time this happens. And similar to what bipolar_bear said, through dedicated recovery work in finding new ways of coping I’m sure the thoughts will fade in time. I wish you well in this recovery process.

Hugs. ~ Bee

Thanks, all for the support. It's somewhat comforting to know you're not alone in all this, eventhough it seems very lonely sometimes. I think that sometimes maybe some people are right that I do things for attention; I hate to think it but I've heard it for more than one person and sometimes question myself. I hate that I give more credit to ideas when they come from others and more credit to ones that are supported by more people.