Is this a disorder

Sometimes i think im wanting to be sick.i want the doctors to find something wrong with me and do weird or painful procedures. Oddly enough i don't know where this all stems from .i am trying to kill myself when i overdose and then seek help it's not for attention but apart of me likes to be physically hurt by pain ful procedures in the er,for example ng tubes for overdose or injections i don't know why this is. does this sound like a disorder

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i honestly don't know.

bethany (the girl who i used to know) used to tell me stuff- she wish the doctors found this, found that, etc- given the names of actual passiffic illnesses

when i asked her why, her response used to be that she is just sick of doctors not helping her, and it's about time they find something and take her seriously

i'm sorry i can't be more help but that's a little experience that i could post here

Whether a disorder or not, it's a pattern of behaviour you have noticed and been honest with yourself about. Maybe it seems to help emotional pain somehow.

Now you can decide what, if anything,you may want to change about it. Kudos to you.

I hope you can get support to help you, whatever you decide.

It sounds to me like it could be a form of self-injury, like self-punishment, since you mention the painful procedures. And by having someone else (doctors/nurses) do them, maybe you feel less responsible for it, or something like that? Or it could be a mix of wanting to be taken care of and wanting the painful sensations.

Maybe some kind of munchausen(sp?) syndrome?

It does sound like some form of self harm. Have you talked with your T or pdoc about it?

I don't know if this sounds familiar, but sometimes I wish the doctors would find something wrong with me because all my life whenever I was sick no one believed me. So maybe it's like a revenge thing but sometimes I wish I would come down with something so I could stick it to all the people who didn't believe me when I was sick. Like my dad never believing I was sick with anything, when I had a concussion (diagnosed yes) or pneumonia (also diagnosed) or PTSD and depression (diagnosed by multiple doctors). He keeps trying to say I have bipolar, I think, because he doesn't want to admit that any abuse happened during my childhood that caused the PTSD and depression. If it's bipolar, then it's not his fault. You see? BUt it's not, and he's just a jackass.

I digress but I was trying to show you that I feel that way too sometimes and I didn't know if maybe what you were feeling was similar.

As usual I suggest talking to your T about it.

Seesaw

Sounds like a mild form of munchausen's

I quite often want to be ill but I think it's because I want to be looked after. Pathetic really. I had a cancer scare this year and I think I was actually a bit disappointed when it turned out I was ok. Sick I know. I wonder if this is a symptom of some kind of personality disorder?