 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
May 19, 2016, 04:16 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Let's celebrate with one huge deep cut!
So I would either starve myself.. I would go on a "almost suicide" roll, I would start cutting again or I would go back to my addict days.. And I always do that when I really should be "happy" what is happy? New Year, 1st of January. I wake up next to a bottle of whiskey after being a month sober I throw the bottle, mind you almost hitting my girlfriend, grab a shard and almost get myself to the ER.. Now my birthday.. I'm 16.. how did I even survive so long? I should not be alive right now. So I decided to celebrate with a deep.. that's not even a cut anymore, that is a slash.. And I don't even feel bad. I don't feel anything.. and that's the scariest thing.. I am so out of the reality right now that this means nothing to me, when previously I would usually "wake up". I'm wondering, will any of my "friends" even think for a second what might be happening right now? Oh yeah I forgot.. I went into mania and lost all of them.  Hope whoever has a birthday today is celebrating it amazing for me. I will be crying in my bed, don't worry about it.
|
 Fizzyo
|
|
#2
May 19, 2016, 05:47 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm so sorry you are having a bad day and that your birthday isn't something you can celebrate. I hope things get better for you soon.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
 scar12346
|
|
#3
May 24, 2016, 03:15 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My Birthdays trigger despair in me too so I really feel for you. I hope you can find something completely NOT birthday to distract yourself with.
|
|
#4
May 30, 2016, 10:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(Hugs)
I'm sorry your birthday doesn't feel like anything to celebrate. It should be a time of joy and happiness, and I'm sorry that you can't experience that right now. Are you seeing a T or pdoc who can help you with these intense emotions you are experiencing? (Hugs again) Seesaw
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
