[RebbieDoll]

do you ever intentionally try to trigger yourself? or is that just me?

[silentlyscreaming]

Yeah, I do it all the time. Certain songs, websites etc. I think it's all part of the routine involved with my SI, so no, it's not just you

<font color="#000088">Sometimes when people that SI a lot, feel the need to harm themselves for some reason. They may purposely trigger themselves in order to get the numbing effect, so the self-harming won't be as painful. So yeah, there are quite a few people that do that! It's just not easy to get some of them to admit that they actually triggered themselves on purpose! But it is common. So you are not alone in that area, or a freak or anything. It happens a lot with self-injurers! I hope that helps you understand it better! And not feel as bad about it! </font>

[Christina86]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SongsInMyHead said:
do you ever intentionally try to trigger yourself? or is that just me?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

(((((((((SongsInMyHead))))))))))))))

Nope. Definetely not just you. Sometimes I go looking for an excuse to SI. I will try to rationalize it as well into convincing myself to do it. It's hard work to keep yourself safe sometimes...

[RebbieDoll]

thanks everyone
(((((((((silentlyscreaming)))))))))
(((((((((Justice)))))))))
(((((((((canders)))))))))

YES! I have done this many a time. There is certain music that I know not to listen to and certain shows not to watch. Its like I want to be punished or something and I do it. I finally decided that my goal to be healthy and stable was more important to me so I quit.

[Rapunzel]

I also look for triggers sometimes. In my case I think sometimes being triggered and even relapsing feels better than just feeling numb or feeling nothing. Sometimes I want some intensity, and negative intensity is the only thing that I know how to feel.