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#1
Dec 01, 2016, 12:30 AM
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I was having a breakdown a few days ago because my roommate and I got into an argument. I took my xanax and it did nothing for my anxiety so I had some wine (I know that's bad to mix), and then I still felt like screaming and throwing everything around me and breaking stuff so I went into the bathroom and broke my razor and cut my arm. Now I'm stuck with three huge slices and I feel so guilty because I haven't done this in a long time.
I'm so overwhelmed, everything is making me feel crazy right now, I just didn't know what else to do to get rid of the feeing. I'm dating someone new (who doesn't know I have any mental disorders) and he saw the bandage and asked what happened and I said I cut it on a piece of glass when I reached into the trash and he was very suspicious, and when he sees my arm after the bandage is off he'll see I did it myself... How will I handle that?
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Current diagnosis Schizoaffective GAD PTSD Agoraphobia Fibromyalgia |
 AlittleUnsteady, miss_rainy
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 miss_rainy
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#2
Dec 01, 2016, 06:07 AM
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Well, one thing I do know from my own experience,is that it does not help to judge yourself for what happened. You can't change feeling bad necessarily, but keep an eye on the thoughts that come along with that guilt. A lot of time they are thoughts that you "shouldn't" have done that or telling yourself you're a bad person. Try not to give these thoughts much attention. It is difficult, but they do no good for you. They will only make it more likely for you to do it again. It sounds like you did a good job not self harming for a while. Thats great! That's a hard thing to do. Slips happen. No one is perfect. You tried other things first, that's also good. Be kind to yourself, you deserve some grace. You are not perfect, no one is. Since we are not perfect, we will make mistakes. This does not make us bad people. You did the only other thing you knew to calm yourself down. It wasn't the healthiest thing, but as humans, we go back to what is familiar. Self injury is a coping skill, again, not a healthy one, but it is. Try to give yourself some credit for trying things before using self harm. And moving forward, try adding a few more things to your list to try next time you get upset. As for your boyfriend, if he is worth having around, he will be concerned. He will want to help. If you telll him and he reacts badly, then he is not worth your time. You don't have to tell him, but if he asks, it might be easier to just talk about it. Self harming does not make you any less. It doesn't make you worthless. You are a person. You are alive, this, and this alone gives you worth. Nothing you do or say can take that worth away.
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#3
Dec 01, 2016, 02:08 PM
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Thanks, I really appreciate you taking the time for a thorough response. It made me feel better.
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Current diagnosis Schizoaffective GAD PTSD Agoraphobia Fibromyalgia |
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#4
Dec 01, 2016, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
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#5
Dec 01, 2016, 04:22 PM
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We all have days when everything gets too much, and something happens that we end up regretting.
The way I look at it, is to take the positives.. It sounds bonkers but stick with me.. Look at what happened, and why it happened. Look at how you can manage those feelings should they surface again. There is always an opportunity to learn from every bad thing that happens. You are you, I would advise explaining what happened, and why to him. If he understands, then you've found someone well worth your time ! |
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#6
Dec 01, 2016, 11:29 PM
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I think that we all have those moments where we are struggling to cope in healthy ways but you tried to use other coping methods before you slipped up. I think we are also our harshest critics and it is ok but try not to focus on those guilty thoughts I find that when I do it keeps me stuck in a place I don't want to be. When I am upset I try holding ice because really cold things has a way of slowing our brains down and giving us time to think of our options. Now about the boyfriend I think that if it is obvious that it was self inflicted it may just be best to explain it to him and if he is someone worth it he will try to be supportive.
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Formally known as broken_one 
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#7
Dec 04, 2016, 11:17 PM
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I want to echo what everyone said above. You handled it well, pat yourself on the back.
If and when you are ready, talk to th BF and please share with us how it goes 
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