[summerflower22]

Hello,
I was just wondering if anyone else knows of or does stereotypical self-mutilation(head hitting, biting, etc)? I'm a little embarrassed about this, but I hit myself....I suffer with severe BDD, have major low self esteem, have OCD, PTSD, and possibly Paranoia.
I hit myself because the emotional pain is so unbearable, I want to replace it with something else. I also feel that my body is so ugly, that it deserves to be hurt .
I usually hit my head in intense periods of emotional pain/depression, or a major BDD attack. I'm afraid, and no one understands this. Even my therapist is kind of baffled and doesn't know what to say. I want it to stop.
Is there anyone else out there even remotely going through, what I'm going through? I'd like to hear someone's story, and what they do to help this.
Thank you

[bipolar_bear]

I am sorry I don't have any personal experience with head hitting or biting to share with you but wanted you to know that I am here and listening. I understand trying to get relief from emotional pain and how SI provides some temporary relief. Take care and I hope you soon will see how you don't deserve to be hurt in any form.

BB

[Perna]

Autistic children often bang their head because it releases endorphins (the "feel good" chemicals our brains naturally produce).

http://www.williams.edu/imput/synapse/pages/IB5.html

I've been impressed by my daughter-in-law and her treatment of my 3 year old granddaughter and 2 year old grandson and how they'll get to wailing and she'll say, "Use your words!" Maybe you could try substituting some of your self-mutiliation for journaling/writing it out or "talking" to someone?

[InACorner]

i actually just got into hitting my head, sometimes it feels nice to have something different in hurting myself other than just razors...which is sad to say ...but i dont know what to tell you though other than that i understand and that i am sorry your going through this.
love, inny

[Mouse_]

yes I use to give myself black eyes too. Hope you find someone you can trust to talk about this with.

[Christina86]

Hey summerflower,

I do a little bit of that stuff. Don't get as much release from head hiting or biting, but I do admit I do it on occassion.

[Rapunzel]

I do head-banging (not for a while though) and biting. My wrist has three bite scars. One is my own, the next from my guanaco, and the other one is just a mosquito bite that I keep picking at.

There's a difference for me between the head-banging and biting vs. cutting. Cutting has more thought behind it. It's sometimes planned (at least for a few minutes), and I can delay it. The others just happen in a moment when anger is particularly intense.

I think that the best way to deal with it is to remind yourself that those feelings are momentary, and will go away. Train yourself to use deep breathing or relaxation techniques to get through it. Once you get through the intense emotions, doesn't the desire to hit or bite tend to fade away?

I used to take bricks and hit myself with them. My goal was to break my arm. I liked the bruising afterwards because it was like a reward or something. Sorry you are going through this.

May I ask what is BDD? I see people type about this but I don't know what it is.