[Pastel Kitten]

I'm really struggling. I want control over my pain. My boyfriend doesn't understand it and I'm afraid to express myself to him anymore.

I want to cut so badly and can't get it out of my head no matter what I do. It's only been a few days since the last time.

He'll be so upset again. He told me he doesn't know if he can stay with someone who is actively cutting.

I don't like my life and I have such little control over my environment right now. I don't know how to hold on until it gets better. I don't want to ruin my relationship.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((( Pastel Kitten )))))))
I'm sorry, this sounds so tough Keep us updated on how you're doing - we want you to stay safe, I know how hard it is

[ForestWasp]

I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering like this. I know that there was a point that I was suffering with a failing relationship for the same reason. I know that for me breaking up with someone that did not understand my illness was the best thing that could have happened to me. Hold strong your life will have a way of making you happy it may not seem like it will now but please hold on. Stay strong!

[Pastel Kitten]

Originally Posted by ForestWasp

I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering like this. I know that there was a point that I was suffering with a failing relationship for the same reason. I know that for me breaking up with someone that did not understand my illness was the best thing that could have happened to me. Hold strong your life will have a way of making you happy it may not seem like it will now but please hold on. Stay strong!

I'm sorry you were in a similar situation. It makes you feel so alone through your struggles.

I told my therapist that it makes me feel more defective as well. She said that sometimes our partners just can't understand the pain we're going through, even if they're trying they're best.

She'd be willing to have my boyfriend join us in session sometime and try to help him support me a little better. The problem is that he expresses his dislike of my self harm with intense anger a lot of the time and that REALLY scares me.

I went through a lot of that with my mom since early childhood and I don't handle it well (I mean who would?) It makes me want to hurt myself even more.

Thank you for the encouragement. I sure hope life gets better..