I have a goal...

Day 30... I have made my first goal. Tomorrow will be a new record. Every day after that will give me more strength and power.

It was a terrible day... I barely survived the day. It was a costly victory...

A victory is a victory.

Congratulations! ☺

Yes... But I am bed ridden again. I may be going to the hospital again...

Oh dear. I am so sorry to hear that.



(((((AmandaBroken)))))

Thanks...

keep going not for those who are supporting here but for yourself.

Just an update...

Just got home from seeing my doctor. I was given Ativan for panic, up to 3 pills a day that my sister will hide from me. But she will leave out for me the 3 pills to take as needed. I abused Ativan at one time. I also was given Valium by injection for major episodes of panic/anxiety also administered by my sister. Also locked up in her room. I was anemic and had low blood sugars for not eating enough. Which is another issue of mine? When I am stressed I don't really eat. Or eat enough. I am not drinking enough so they want me to drink a measurable amount of water each day. The doctor, Karen, gave me an empty gallon jar and said everyday empty one of these. I know... I deserved to be spanked. Any volunteers?

I had a lot of tests done and I need to put this stuff into practice. So Anna volunteered to push me in these areas. Funny, she won't spank me though.

So that's the story. I had a good breakfast after the appointment and drank 3 glasses of water so I'm going to do this. Just got home and Anna and I showered and kicking back the rest of the day.

All my love to everyone who is encouraging me. I appreciate the kind words and loving support both from here and in real life. I could never do this alone.

Halfway through day 31... looks like a new record breaking day for me.

I encourage all cutters... Fight it... join with me and let's all stop cutting...

Congratulations!!

Thank You for cheering me on...

You're doing well Amanda. It has been almost 2 years since I last self harmed. I used to do it on a daily basis. Keep it up

That gives me lots of hope Lavender. Thank you for sharing that...

It's a little early but I feel great. Thank you, everyone, for your love and support.

I have set a goal of 40 days because it's manageable and within reach.

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Day 33... It was a great day...

Yay! ☺ .

Since this is my primary place of posting after the games and in the light of all the support I get here I wanted you to be the first to know that Anna and I were engaged today.

We have only been dating for about 2 months and living together for about six weeks, but we were members of the same swim team and classmates at school for the last three years. She also plays volleyball and softball with me. So we have been seeing each other a lot over the last three years.

Today while we were out shopping I took her into a jewelry store that I had called a week ago and had her try on the ring. I then whispered in her ear "Would you marry me." She said "YES." The clerk then gave her a matching ring to give me. We are setting a June date at my family estate. I have never been this happy...


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I am so happy to hear this wonderful news!!

I wish you every happiness together!!

Congratulations!! That's awesome!!!

Day 34...

.

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Day 35...

I have to say this turned out to be a very good week overall...

Congratulations!

Day 37...

I was not on at all yesterday.