umm..it was my cat?

most likely pretty triggering

cant use that excuse anymore..the scars are too big, obvious and slightly darker and shiny in comparison to my deathly pale arm..

i have someone coming over tomorrow, the urges to rip into myself are really unbearable right now. .. wanna see blood..so bad..just watch it...grrrr i hate this.

i dont need a trigger to do it but i think i get triggered whenever i have distrbing dreams..which is often. last night i had another.. i wont go into details but i woke up feeling terrible. urges were so strong...still are


the friend who is coming tomorrow knows i SI, but i told her i stopped.. i just dont want any fresh blood to start seeping down my fingers as i pour her a drink or something ridiculous like that..

oh lord help me if there is a lord, the blades are looking so ******* sweet and innocent...

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i just dont want any fresh blood to start seeping down my fingers as i pour her a drink or something ridiculous like that..

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Wear bandages? (Putting plasters etc on your arms first... I find lint is a good padding, but you have to fix it in place first obviously)

And why can't you tell your friend you are currently SI-ing? If you could tell her before, unless she reacted really badly, it might be worth mentioning it... probably only if you were asked though...

i normally do strap up im just always paranoid of something happening..

i couldnt tell her anyway, i feel like ive already let myself down, cant let her down too...

but for the record i asked her not to come that day. wasnt up to it..