I had a bad relapse on Wednesday. I had an argument with my mum and I was so angry and all my emotions bottled up. I did it and ended up in A&E. It has left me traumatized and I saw the blood spurting, and me crying in panic. I thought I was going to die. I have made so many people angry. I keep telling myself that was the last straw but I don't listen. Last time I did it, was around 2015/2014. I'm scared too. I have given all sharp objects to my mum and put them somewhere else. I don't trust myself. I ended up with eight stitches. The paramedic said I missed the artery and my mum tells me I would have ended up dead. I'm grateful I'm still here. I missed a day of work for to rest and I came back and had to fill in a back to work thing. He knew I hurt myself from looking at the scars on my arm. I told him it was an accident but he knew it wasn't. I told him everything. I had a meeting and was told, I'm going to have further support to help me with my issues. I want to look for a therapist or something. I want to get better. I can't keep doing this to myself.

Good luck

[SlumberKitty]

I'm sorry that happened. I think its good you are wanting to stop self harming. We are here, listening and supporting you 100%. A therapist may be a great place to start. Kit

[Marilyn2016]

No path to recovery is linear. I congratulate you for trying to take steps to prevent self harming in the future. Relapse does happen, and it is scary as all hell.

"Don't stop believing!!"

You can get to the other side. I didn't think I could, and I still can't believe I have years behind my recovery, but you can make it. Don't quit trying, whatever you do, you are worth every moment of feeling and getting better. I'm glad you got help at the A&E. It was a close call, but you still made it out. Well done on giving up your sharp objects while you don't feel safe. Keep seeking out help, and you will find it. I wish you the best, and don't hesitate to drop me a line if you need some support.

Love,
Marilyn