self harm- could trigger??

As I lay here on my bed
I close my eyes and slowly open them again
As I look around the room
My vision is blurry
My thoughts are confused
I slowly wipe the tears from my eyes
Oh God tell me why do I cry
I turn on my side
Then painfully remember why
I shed these tears
Its because of my one big fear
I slowly sit up
And tightly shut my eyes
I can feel the warm tears
Sliding gently from my eye
Sitting here on my couch crying,
Why is it that people try to ignore the people who are dying,
Inside?
I feel helpless and wonder if it's even that important
To stay alive
The knife comes to my arm,
And without thinking of the harm,
I write on myself,
I can't stop myself,
I can't help myself.
The pain in my heart is just too real,
I wonder if anyone else can feel,
What I am going through?
"Your beautiful." I try to tell myself.
But not even these words seem to help,
The hateful thoughts that cloud my mind,
The hateful feelings I feel inside,
The hateful words: "I JUST want to die!"

Oh (((((((((((((((just)))))))))))))))))) I've been there myself. Not sure what else to say except I hope you're feeling better today, and that you are in my thoughts.