how often do you self harm?

basically, a poll on how often you self harm, feel free to go more in depth if you wish.

I used to self-harm quite frequently, the amount i self-harm depends how bad my depression is...around 8 months ago i was doing it on almost a daily basis, sometimes more than once a day. but my depression has gotten a lot better and i've only self-harmed twice in the past four months!

It varies a lot. There were times when it was several times per week, but now I haven't for almost six months.

I am wondering what you would like to get out of this thread? Are you interested in getting better? How can we make this supportive?

Rap

Are you asking about a specific type of self harm, or is it all encompassing including things you might not personally think is self harm (such as tatooing and piercing, suicidal acting out - running red lights, speeding, becoming drunk, etc.)????? I didn't answer your poll... but I often do "passive" things that harm myself.

Good point. I was thinking of cutting when I answered, but smaller ways of beating myself up are a constant part of my life that I'm not always even aware of. Some physical, some emotional, some impulsive. Like, how about risking running out of gas in the middle of nowhere?

And what are we going to do about that?

work on self esteem so we don't feel like we deserve to be harmed?

Mine isn't a part of the poll so I will put it here. My cutting and self injury behavior did not and does not run on a schedule of daily and so on. it was just random when I needed to release pent up emotions I did it., sometimes I would do it many times a day for days in a row and other times I could go for months without cutting. It just depended on how my life was running and what I was running away from kind of thing.

On working on my controling and stopping my self injury stuff I try to knock out one thing at a time not focus on it all completely. kind of like cutting out smoking from someone life when that person has been smoking for over 30 years, going cold turkey ends up in the person adopting other unhealthy and or annoying habits of over eating, lip smacking and lip licking.

over the years of trying to go cold turkey on not cutting have adopted other ways - the illogical thinking that its not cutting so Im not really hurting myself when in actuality doing things like taking baths or other things that turn the skin red or blistered and so on IS self injury.

So now I have quite a list of self injury behaviours. So when SKR and I started trying to figure out what to do about it we decided to try picking only one to work on controling. I chose cutting and the way I work on it is that I started setting goals. First I went one day without cutting, then two days, then three. Each time I cut I would challenge myself to go one day past my previous record. by choosing one day more I was never setting an unreachable goal. I also was not setting myself up for a major fall and dissappointment in myself and feeling like I let anyone down if I slid back into cutting because there was no goal of NEVER cutting again. I cut fine no one not even myself was saying I could not cut. All I was doing was saying I want to cut ok write it down and I can still cut if I want to about this on this day when I have met my goal of waiting one more day then the last time I cut.

On the day I met my goal I would do something to celebrate it - go to a movie or buy something I normally would not splurge my money on and so on.

As for right now - I have not cut for the past one year and 4 months. I have already met my goal this time for it was one year and one day. I know that I can cut at any point and know that I am not letting myself down, my therapist down and so on, But at this moment there are no urges to do so.

how do we control our self injury?? <font color="black"> </font>

Mine runs about every 2 weeks but I don't cut every 2 weeks...mostly I work through it online at my site (Cutters Realm) and through IM'ing.

When things are really bad I do cut. I just get the urges every 2 weeks.

I didn't find an option that fit me.

I don't anymore unless you consider biting, and then maybe once in the last two months.

I had gotten to the point though that I cut daily.

wouldn't that be hardly ever then, icky? Good to see you posting.

I suppose it would be hardly ever, except I don't consider it self harm for me because it doesn't leave a mark for more than an hour or so, and compared to the damage I've done before it is hard for me to clasify my biting as in the same catergory as self harm.

Or maybe I'm just in denial.

I don't know

well, someone asked what i wanted to get from posting this (i'm very sorry but it's early in the morning and i've forgot your name) well, i sort of wanted to see how often people do conciously self harm, and i was hoping they would go into more detail as to WHY they do it like this, because i couldn't tell you WHY i cut or burn or bite or hit my head against the wall, i wanted to see if others have reasons, i blame it on my bi-polar but deep down i know thats not why, and if i find out why i truly do it then i might be able to staop that thing and stop self harming.

i'm sorry if i didn't include a catergory for you or if i didn't go in depth about what type of self harming, i meant concious self harming, almost like it's pre planned, instead of just randomly biting or scratching and not knowing it, because i do that constatly, i'm always scratching and i won't stop until i draw blood, so this poll was about concious thinking whilst self harming.

daily now, used to be less freqent, We hope to get back to that place soon

I have been in many support and therapy groups some of which were for self injury and the one thing I learned in them is that everyone has their own reasons for cutting and some choose to disclose why and others don't. and I know that when someone does not disclose to me why, that does not mean they don't have a reason. people don't just wake up one day and starts hacking away at their self without a reason and I personally don't worry about it when someone doesn't tell me why for each person has their own reason and cutting at least for me has always been a private thing that I don't discuss because I have been hospitalized for it and I don't make the same mistake of talking about it twice. So I don't worry about it when others don't tell me why.

<font color="blue"> [b]I think myself was making a good point... in my words I say, it doesn't matter what you do, or how often that is most important, it's the WHY? Why do you do this to yourself? Do you know? (These are rhetorical questions and not for the thread to answer.)

The issue is you are doing this for a reason, or more than one reason. In some way this self harm fulfills a need. Maybe you don't feel worthy, maybe you don't feel and want to, maybe you feel and don't want to, maybe you're angry but can't or won't take it out on another...

Worrying about your self harm seldom does much to heal from it, imo. Working on feeling better about yourself, trying to adjust your actions against yourself to the least harming you can, and believing you will become better in the future, are all good things to do, imo. TC!

It kind of depends on what's occurring elsewhere in my life. For a while it was at least weekly, but I seem to be doing better these days. It's gotten less frequent and less harmful. My t has been helpful in teaching me about self compassion, and also in finding other ways of coping. It has been slow, but there has been progress. I find it helps to keep my goals in mind, and to stay busier. Too much time to think is never good.

Anyway, that's what has worked for me.
Quay

When I was at my worst(around 1999-2000), I was SH'ing 5-10 different times per day. But, I was under a lot of pressure and really had no clue how to deal with things in a non-harmful way. I still don't know how to deal with certain things and emotions, but I'm able now,most of the time, to focus my urges elsewhere. As of right now, I'm in the about once per week group.

This was an interesting poll. I loved reading everyone's responses

I said about weekly, but there was one time when it was just purely related to stress so wouldn't happen unless it was near exams or the like and then would stop right afterwards.

Good survey, always interesting to know about other people.

I used to si, but only in times of extreme emotional distress. The last time was a few years ago, when I was going through a very painful breakup. It was sometimes an impulsive thing, and other times it was planned out ahead of time. The thing that made me stop was having to cover up the cuts all the time, and people asking me what happened and me having to lie about it, especially while I was at work. Now I am more settled down in my life (well relationshipwise anyway) and less prone to want to hurt myself. I have found that other things work better when I'm in pain.

Sujin

daily but suprisingly i just feel numb today i know the feelings are there but I just dont feel anything at all.

I used to cut daily, or every 2 days, but for the past few days I've done it at least 5 times a day. I keep making a series of cuts, and then an hour later I'll want to do it again.

Wow, old topic but interesting none the less so I'll add my answer.

its if i need the release of emotions thats built up, like when my anxiety has gotten increasingly worse, or i've become lost, or upset so much that i just have to as a way of getting my emotions out