[canadien]

Hello guys;
So, it seems overtime my wife used different tactics when we had difficult conversations regarding family or other issues.

And the trend these days is hitting her self to make me stop talking; I am not swearing or doing anything wrong; Yet, she feels that she has to start hitting her self to stop me talking.

This is difficult because now I am having difficulty communicating about smallest thing with her and trying to make her understand why certain things happen.

Is there a technique I can occupy to make her stop being triggered?

How can I make her comfortable getting involved in a dialogue without making her feel threatened? Somehow she feels that I am judging her; and other people only listen to me because I am very good with words.

im sorry. my dad used to hit himself in the head when there were arguments. it was frightening for me. i don't know how to help you. but you have my support.

[SlumberKitty]

There are techniques your wife can use to calm down like deep breathing and things like that. Does she have a counselor or a therapist? They would be able to help your wife find the techniques that work for her--but be aware they don't always work and sometimes people still resort to self harm as a way to deal with emotional pain. You can't want your wife to stop hurting herself more than she wants to. As long as she is getting something out of it, it will probably continue. If your wife does not want to see a counselor or a therapist, I suggest you see one for yourself. A few visits might help you understand more of what is going on with your wife and how you can intervene safely. This must be very difficult for the both of you. I'm sorry for the pain you are both in. HUGS Kit