Relapse

I have no clue what happened!! after I left my residential I was doing so well. No self harm or suicidal urges. Told everyone I changed my whole mindset. I thought I did. I don’t know what happened along the way but I relapsed after around 5 months or so. God it’s so disgusting. Even after all the help I got. I dropped all of it. And I cant even do it right. I feel like such a looser. My self harm used to be so bad. Now they aren't like at all. I cant even hurt myself properly, the only thing I used to be good at. I feel bad for my family.

(I also got quite a few cuts infected so I hope I don’t loose a leg?? They look better now though.)

SXKYUOU I am sorry you are going through this. We are so hard on ourselves when we relapse. Every day is a start of something new and you can build yourself back up again. Be gentle with yourself and I am glad you "couldn't get it right". I cut for a long time, I still get the urges but it has become instinct to tell myself no. Even if I did, it is just a slip. We all fall down sometimes. I don't know if you have seen a therapist in the past, but trying to connect with one may help. I know I have had to go back and relearn certain coping skills, plus add some to the bag.