[blah__x]

at school ive given up covering some of them. its been two days and nobodies even noticed. the particular part im showing has dozens of oldies and about 7 few-day-old ones. big though..

i think about it...ive hidden it for years because i was afraid of what theyd say. turns out they dont give a crap.

ive just decided that...

im not proud of it.. but that doesnt mean i should be ashamed of it.

im so sick of hiding..

your thoughts? you hide?

[bchlyn]

i hide... your brave and worth caring about...lyn

[bipolar_bear]

I care about you. You are a very brave person. I have always hidden mine.

BB

[mandazzle]

I always do, I have to. I can't let anyone else know so I have to.
(((blah)))

I was hiding them at home (I live with my husband). I was avoiding sex with him because I didn't want him to see. Finally one day I decided, %#@&#! it-- this is my house, my body and I'm not going to walk around wearing long sleeves if I don't want to. So I stopped hiding it at home.

At my internship I have to hide my arms for now until they heal better because I am a therapist-- so that wouldn't be very good practice if I came in all cut up.

When I go out in public, to a store, or the mall or whatever, I don't go to any great lengths to cover up unless they are brand new, bad looking cuts. That's not very good looking. But otherwise, if it's scars, I don't give a %#@&#! what anyone thinks because it is not their business anyway.

[Rapunzel]

The weather has been getting nicer here and I'm wearing short sleeves. I'm tired of hiding. I still really do get cold though, so I almost always wear sleeves, and wrist-warmers, and I hardly ever take my jacket off. But I try, and I'm not trying to hide.

[x_BabyG_x]

I always used to hide - still do in fact, especially when Im around those who I love and care about the most. I dont know whether its because I'm ashamed of my scars or what.
Lasy year I moved abroad and I was dreading it on the beach and wearing really revealing clothing (in 40 degrees you cant exactly cover up!) but I talked to my friend about it, she sat me down and said "So what? its not like you can control it, to me you have nothing to hide..." and it really helped.
The first time I was brave enough to strut around in a bikini, especially with the new marks on my thighs, was a day I'll always remember because the feeling of not caring what anyone thinks really made me feel proud of myself for being so brave

We have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about

BabyG xxx

[Cthomas]

I hide too. Especially if they are bad. I don't hide them in front of my mother because she understands

[splitimage]

I no longer am actively cutting, but when I was I never made any particular effort to hide it. I figured screw it - this is part of who I am. Generally nobody ever commented although I did get some funny looks. Weirdest comment I ever got was from a store clerk who said "nice pattern" as I was at her checkout.

--splitimage

[Typo]

I hide..I can't stand the idea of anyone asking me why I have cuts all over my shoulders. I don't cover my arms or wrist...I use to cover my wrist with braclets or a jacket so noone could see. I am slowly starting to cover less and less.. but I still cover my shoulders..in fact I am horribly nervous about prom dress shopping..I am so scared my mom may ask. All of you are so brave..I hope one day I can be as brave as all of you!!

[BalishBun]

I don't cut or anything, but in no way should you be ashamed of your scars, even though its not a good thing, its something that you are dealing with and hiding it seems like it would bottle up your negative thoughts even more.

[blah__x]

so many thanks to everyone...

i agree with Balish too. at first the idea of showing was terrifying,, but once i did, oh my god i felt so free. so far now a few people have noticed, including a teacher. i think they dont say anything because theyre scared to upset me...

[ A NOTE:: any student thinking of showing...be prepared that they might call your house to let your parents know.. this hasnt happened to me yet..im waiting for it though. theyve already called my friend's house ]

now..people see me in the playground and i know theyre thinking (thats that emo kid..) .. wtf im not emo. im just confused. but its this sense of freedom that covers that up-i dont care what they say or think.

this is me. my scars are a part of me, my history. i cant go back and change it, but i can change what i do with them.

i still havent gotten to showing my shoulders....theyre much much worse.

one day though....


[ youre all so brave ...great people..... ]

[Kiya]

wow. i think that that is a good attitude.

i just for the first time today wore a short sleeve shirt to the dr - and you know - they didn't even notice. it was freeying - and sort of freaky.... and i got a rush - almost like being dared - daring the world to LOOK AT ME. heh.

[blah__x]

(((((((( kiya ))))))))

[bchlyn]

i am really lucky... mine only are noticeable if i get them in the sun... but, even still i don't think i am brave enough to let them be noticed...lyn

[x_BabyG_x]

Another thing I might add, I think Im also afraid of showing because people might think I have a "I cut, get over it" attitude. In which that kind of is the case, because at the end of the day it is part of who I am, but I know that people who dont understand may judge me and think that I am 'showing off' my scars to get 'attention'.

Which is clearly not the case, obvi xxx

[mandazzle]

(((((blah)))))
That's such a great attitude to have! I only wish that one day I can have that type of attitude.

[blah__x]

BabyG, i know exactly what you mean.. there will always be people who asume that we think we're "cool" and we're showing them off...its pretty sad..

since its the complete opposit with most of us.

[paintingravens]

I cant wear my bathing suit this summer, bc of the scars on my thighs. I don't like swimming anyway, so that kind of helps. Maybe i'll just swim in shorts and a t-shirt, because i sometimes do...*sigh* i hate hot weather...

[Kiya]

that would work =) that's how i swim, just cuz i don't like suits.

[bchlyn]

i wear water shorts... you can usually find them with the bathing suits... they are light weight and dry quickly... lyn

[paintingravens]

Hmm...well, i suppose that i'll have to invest in a pair of water shorts soon. Thanx