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#1
Mar 24, 2008, 09:59 AM
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i am having to reminding myself that if i cut... it will be really fresh tomorrow when i go to t... and he always wants to see what i did... and now he is looking at my food journal... and i was under 900c 3 days last week...and lost 6lbs (
 )...fun, fun, fun... mix that with the flashbacks we are looking at... sounds like a great session... 
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#2
Mar 24, 2008, 10:21 AM
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Not to....you can do this lyn. i know its been hard on a lot of us. but you can resist one more hour, one more minute.
Im here......talk to me colleen
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today. lets pretend its tomorrow...ok? |
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#3
Mar 24, 2008, 10:32 AM
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thank you colleen... i hate this... and right now i am trying to remind myself why i don't want too.,.. but... well you know... maybe i could cancel tomorrow...lol,,,but, not funny... i just need things to be easier...you know...lyn
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#4
Mar 24, 2008, 11:09 AM
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dont do it.
i know you can stay strong and resist dont mess up like i did. |
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#5
Mar 24, 2008, 01:10 PM
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I understand totally. still going through the drama that was last week for me. thanks to you guys for pulling me out of what i thought was total darkness.
you guys rock. im here for you Colleen
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today. lets pretend its tomorrow...ok? |
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#6
Mar 24, 2008, 02:13 PM
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(((((((court knee))))))
((((((colleen))))))))) Lyn - "not to". try to focus elsewhere.... hold on... sending you light (now that I , too, can see some finally).
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#7
Mar 24, 2008, 03:27 PM
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thank you kiya... i am glad you can see the light now... i guess it's going to be a keep busy kind of day... i woke up with the really jittery feeling i get sometime... and it just seems to keep the anxiety high all day... my doctor said he thought maybe my blood sugar drops... but my labs always say that the my blood sugar is normal... oh well... lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#8
Mar 24, 2008, 07:54 PM
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(((((((((((((Lyn)))))))))))))))
Don't cancel your appt. Sounds like a hard session, but maybe you need to get some things out. Be safe. You can keep from SIng. I know you can.
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#9
Mar 24, 2008, 08:07 PM
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maybe think of it like a food right now? SIing... icing... on cake... real sugary stuff, gives tummy aches... has a lot of calories.... don't really like it...?
if i'm not helping, say so. it's a far reach.
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#10
Mar 24, 2008, 08:15 PM
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 lol kiya... i wonder how i can explain that to my t tomorrow...it could use up at least 10 mins...lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#11
Mar 24, 2008, 08:34 PM
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heh - not quite the reaction i had anticipated (actually far better).
It's kind of what i am working on with chocolate. I took the wrapper from the "last one" and wrote all over it POISON, SICK, GROSS, HATE IT, CRAP, DANGER... etc. Well, i have eaten quite a lot of chocolate since and was thinking it didn't work - but am sitting here realizing (as i eat ...chocolate...) that i never again bought *that* brand again. SO! It sort of worked. So now I am going to take the current brand and also grafitti that one... and any others i get a hold of...
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#12
Mar 25, 2008, 08:18 AM
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well i know i am saying this from a very triggered place... but i really want to follow through... but the last time i went to t with a really fresh cut... he was pretty unhappy with me... and i thought he wasn't going to let me leave until i came up with a safety plan... he kept telling me... i needed to talk to him and give him a reason to believe i was going to be safe... when i shrugged my shoulders he said... i have all the time in the world... i even have an apple over there to eat....lol t humor... i can do this it's only 12 hours till my appointment... lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#13
Mar 25, 2008, 12:37 PM
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yes, but what about after t?? can you tell him you're not safe? what a good t to keep you until you safety plan *kiya hugs lyn's t*. tell him, please?
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Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#14
Mar 25, 2008, 12:41 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
bchlyn said: i can do this it's only 12 hours till my appointment... lyn </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Make at least one post every hour until you leave for your appointment. If your angry,,,spit it out.. If you hurt,,let it flow... If you care,,,we will too...we will even if you don't. We will help you get to your appointment... Lenny
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I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#15
Mar 25, 2008, 12:54 PM
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lenny... thank you for caring... 7 more hours...lyn
kiya... what he wanted was me to put into place what i was going to do instead... the plan we came up with was 1 call him 2 journal 3 run on my treadmill 4 go for a walk 5 call him 6 take a xanax i will try and tell him... but he knows that when i am in the middle of the flashes i si... so my guess is he will already know...lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#16
Mar 25, 2008, 04:27 PM
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k... 4 hours... and i am really triggered... i tried to do more of my homework... if i can't look at this stuff without getting triggered to this place... and if i have to look at it to get better... then i am screwed! ... lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#17
Mar 25, 2008, 04:31 PM
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Think of the absolute nicest place you could be this very moment...close your eyes and visualize it..put your self in the picture with the one person in the world who could make you smile the widest...
Breath...just think of that place and that person...nothing else...not the homework,,not the pain,,not the frustration... Just that place,,that person...breath.... This too shall pass,,if you let it... Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#18
Mar 25, 2008, 04:36 PM
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#19
Mar 25, 2008, 05:03 PM
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ok.... more grounded... not going to try and do that again today... thank you lenny for reminding me to go to my safe place... i forget to go there in my mind when i get triggered ... i pictured my grandbaby playing on the shore...lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#20
Mar 26, 2008, 08:22 AM
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((((((((((((Lyn)))))))))))))))) how are you doing today?
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#21
Mar 26, 2008, 08:28 AM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
bchlyn said: i pictured my grandbaby playing on the shore...lyn </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> What a wonderfull image lyn...spend more time there... Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#22
Mar 26, 2008, 11:30 AM
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sorry - migraine put me out last night - i'm just catching up.... sounds like you got through??!
How is today? What are your plans for today to get through? (((((((hugs))))))))) kiya
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#23
Mar 26, 2008, 01:12 PM
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lots of anxiety and panic... i am fighting the urges again... and am afraid that my t will give up on me... i know he won't but i am getting hit with those negative messages again...lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#24
Mar 26, 2008, 01:14 PM
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Back to the beach you go...it is always safe and fun there...
Don't worry about later and "back then",,,just go to the beach with that little soul you love... Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#25
Mar 26, 2008, 01:15 PM
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kiya... i think i do better when i am not on breaks... work helps...not sure what i am going to do to stay safe... i am not even so sure i want too... but the messages that i will be abandoned if anyone finds out i did are back... and am not sure if that is stopping me or causing the urges to get worse... i guess i will call my t and leave a hit and run message...lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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