[bchlyn]

last time i cut... i threw away my blade...a promise t i would... i bought a new one the other day... i haven't used it... and it's still unopened... but i don't want to throw it away... and i don't want to tell my t ... i know i will end up telling him... but i don't want him to give me that look... and ask me about it... i want to know it's there if i need it... i know how stupid that is... but just the same... lyn

[Kiya]

i don't think it's stupid. it's like smoking; another person can't tell you to stop or make you get rid of the ciggies. only when you're really ready are you gonna be ok with having the blade gone.
i know for me, having them gone is worse than having the conrol over them.
(((((((((((((((lyn))))))))))))))))

[bchlyn]

[selfy]

dont worry lyn. i have spent the last few months with a supply of blades on me, just for security. i have used them yes, but at the time i would have got some to use wether i had them or not. it feels safe to have them. and when you feel stronger you will be able to throw them away. but take it a step at a time. dont worry.
dot

[Kiya]

and really, if you're going to injure - you're going to find something. i'd rather you use what you know and have control over rather than use something you don't know that might really hurt you more and cause worse damage... and possible infection. for me - i steralize all mine before use (usually).
make any sense? that way you've got clean, new blades and not something random that will actually be worse.

[Christina86]

(((((((((((Lyn))))))))))))))) It isn't stupid. It's security. I've done it too... until I got to some sort of point where I trusted a friend to 'hold onto them' for me... and I still went out and bought stuff.

I hope your T understands where you're coming from on this... I know it's hard.

[x_BabyG_x]

I still keep my object in the drawer in my bedroom and I still have a drawer full of plasters and bandages... even though I am trying to stop, knowing they're there is a sorce of comfort, I like to keep them close by just incase I fall back, if that makes any sense?

babyg xxx

[bchlyn]

ty... i guess in reality it was more a promise to myself then my t... i thought i was ready to be done with it... i am at 10 weeks right now... not sure i am going to make it much farther... and that is so aggravating...because i don't want to admit that i have a pattern... but i do.... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Kiya]

(((((((((((((hugs to you!!!)))))))))))))))

[crazybones]

it is ok to have the blades around it is not easy to stop its not like onee day u can just stop and maybe not right away it might be helpful to tell the T

[snow123]

I find keeping my instruments comforting so I don't think it is stupid.

[bchlyn]

ty ....he can tell when i am not telling him something... so my guess is i will tell him... lyn

[Kiya]

(((((((((((lyn))))))))))))) when do you next see him?

[bchlyn]

tuesday night

[Kiya]

holding you in thoughts until then.