[Dejected_dogs]

I got question about self injury. My therapist said that biting is a form of self injury. I always thought that only cutting was self injury. I mean what harm could biting possible do. None. I have never cut, but I bite myself all the time. Is my therapist right?

[lenjan]

Well, bites can get infected and cause lots of problems. As can cuts. As can burns. Picking at part of your body (mine's my face, which turns out to be real attractive) till you leave scars is another tactic. All of them are self-injury. Anything you do yourself that leaves marks is self injury.

Candy

[Rapunzel]

Biting was my original self-injury method (starting at about age 6). I bit myself hard enough that it took more than a week to heal. The only time that I got locked up for SI stuff, I had done lots of things but not cutting. Biting and scratching myself were what did the visible damage.

One definition I have seen of self-injury is anything that you do as a way to cope with distressing emotions or mental states, that leaves a mark lasting for more than 15 minutes.

I'm not going to start giving you more ideas here, but there are many ways in which people self-injure. My T, who is familiar with SI, says that she is surprised at my variety of methods.

[Zenobia]

Rap, something you said caught me. Is it unusual to have many different methods? I have too many to count. It depends on the situation. Regular cutting is actually rather new in my history, developing over the past 6 or 7 years...though I had gotten into lots of gardening accidents that drew blood and always seemed to need bandaging. I say "regular" because I have cut off and on since I was 14 but only on rare occcasions and only once each time rather then the 3 or 4 times each event that I do now. Anyway over the years I have used so many different types that what you said jolted me for a second because it never occurred to me that it would be unusual..
Carrie

[Rapunzel]

Carrie,

My T has been indicating that I am unusual, specifically in the variety of methods I use (I've come up with several that she never heard of before), and also the frequency (but it's usually really minor), and also that I don't feel like keeping it a secret anymore. She told me, "Most people who hurt themselves choose on particular (favorite) method, and work very hard to hide it, because they feel ashamed of their choice." I'm not sure, actually, if she is right about that, or if most people just don't report their other methods, either because they don't recognize them as SI, or because they are embarassed and/or just don't want to or think it is important. I was 20 the first time I actually cut (but had done other things before), and i only cut very sporadically until, oh, maybe the last couple of years, but it was steadily increasing all the time. Just at first it might have been several years, then just a few years, one or two years, then down to months, weeks, etc. I wonder if it's actually not all that unusual, just not often reported. People tend to think of this as something that gets started at a younger age, and that people our age have grown out of by now. While I'm sorry that you struggle with it too, at another level, it's nice to know that i'm not alone.

Wendy

[NicoleB]

Wendy,

I think you are right about it is just not reported. I have a large variety of methods myself. Cutting is just one method, not my prefered. I started cutting when I was 5, I still don't do that regularly. I do SI regularly though. Anyway, you are right it is good to know that we are not alone.

Nicole

[Rapunzel]

Nicole,

Thanks. Somehow being not quite so unusual in this thing feels better than thinking that other people just don't do what I do. Now I want to ask her what she thinks it means if she thinks I'm that unusual. At first that didn't really bother me, but I think maybe I had started to slip into feeling like that somehow made me less legitimate or something.

[NicoleB]

(((((((((((((((((Rapunzel)))))))))))))))))) only if you want them
I say ask her what she meant and tell her how you feel about what she said. I hate it when people say stuff like that, it just seems unfeeling on their part. Although I know I had done it too, probably more than I realize. Anyway
Nicole

[Zenobia]

Dogs, I wanted to appologize. Rapunzel's response caught me so totally off guard I fail to welcome you into our little home. I am glad you found us. And yes biting is a form of self injury. I have had bite marks linger for days. Cutting is just the most recognized because it is something no one but a self injurer will do. How many non-self injurers have smacked themselves in a state of extreme frustration, or pulled their hair or hit a wall? Therefore it seems to me that focusing on cutting is safer for the masses because many self injury methods are used by the "normal" people in times of extremely high agitation. This of course is just my opinion and not backed up with any scientific data whatsoever.
Carrie <font color="blue">

[Dejected_dogs]

WOW I always thought I was the only one. It is good to know that other people do the same thing. Thanks for all your responses. I guess I knew she was right I just didn't want to be labeled. I still think biting isn't that bad. but that is neither here nor there.

[Rapunzel]

Thanks for asking this question. I have learned a lot from this thread also. And I never knew that biting was used by so many of us. I thought I was alone in that too. Then, before finding this site and some others around the same time that had some basic info on self-injury, I thought I was alone in that too. But it isn't nearly as rare as most people think.

Another thing I want to talk about is your comment that you don't think that biting is that bad. No offense here, but let's just look at that, ok? I guess we could compare SI methods and sort them according to how bad, or severe, the damage is, or something like that, but I'm not sure it really matters, and there would be a range from slight to serious or even life threatening for just about any method. The other thing there is that one can feel "bad" about self-injuring, but that isn't helpful no matter what the method is. Hurting yourself does not make you bad. It just means that you are hurting, and you are coping with your pain in the way that is working for you. There are more effective ways to cope, like talking about what is bothering you, recognizing your feelings, and doing something to change the situation, but it takes some time to learn and to change. I know it is hard, but please don't feel like you are bad for coping the way you know how to cope. Therapy should help you to learn better solutions. It's not a matter of good or bad though - just about you getting the most out of life that you can.

[SweetCrusader]

Agreed VERY strongly, Wendy

Angela