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#1
May 05, 2008, 03:47 PM
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I just go back from therapy, my therapists/Pdoc office is next to the stabilization unit, i burst into tears going there. I do not want to cut right now, but I have revisited the site of my cuts many many times today-i take the bandages off of them and just look at them with disappointment and anger and I feel like I am a really bad person. I have alot of healing to do, we talked about my S.attempt and I cried and told her please don't make me go back to the Stabilization unit, she told me that she thinks it would be good for me, but that is my choice-right now I do not want to-earlier today I was all ready for it, but my mood dropped drastically and now in a way i want everyone to leave me alone, but at the same time i want to talk to people because i am scared to be alone- not sure if that makes sense. i will most likely end up there tonight, i am a failure...
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http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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#2
May 05, 2008, 03:55 PM
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No you are not a failure Purple....not even close.
You were hurting and hurting bad. You faced your fears and went ahead and signed in to the stabalization unit... They began to help you... Your priorites,,some of which are being messed with by your illness caused you to think again... You left....and now your hurting again... Nothing here about failure Purple...just a bit of fear... Let them help you...Let go and let God or your understanding of Him...just let go...this fighting is exhausting you... With only deep respect and care... Lenny
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I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#3
May 05, 2008, 04:00 PM
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I know exactly how you feel hun by wanting to talk about it but also wanting to be alone.
Don't feel like a failure hun, its a really hard thing to go through and overcome, so dont give yourself such a hard time about it. Your not a failure if you end up in the stabilization unit - your just trying to help yourself and thats a good thing. Remember, what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger  babyg xXx
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~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you  ~Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013) 'Borderline traits' Dissociative episodes |
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#4
May 05, 2008, 10:07 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((purplebutterfly)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Please do what is best for you. You are working very hard and are no failure. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe and heal.
BB
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