[Rio_]

Once again, I'm back to doing everything but pulling my hair out. I'd managed to stop for a few days (if you saw the widget I had for a bit, that's what that was measuring), but yesterday I couldn't hold off any more and I started finding hairs again. I know it's not as bad as actually pulling them out, but the only thing that makes it better is that I'm not going to end up with any bald patches this way - I still get the pain in my arm from keeping my hand in the same position for ages, I still end up trying to do things one-handed because I can't get my other hand away from my head, I still end up just staying in the same spot for ages running my hand through my hair instead of doing what I actually want to do, I still feel ashamed that I'm almost back to where I started...

If I can make it to the 19th of June it'll be 18 months since I last pulled my hair out, but that doesn't feel like much of an achievement any more. I'm cheating.

[alevin]

Sorry Rio, dunno mate, but wish you all the help you can get, used to drink alcohol for my angsts and for about everything else for that matter,, its good that you are not doing that,it seems.
maybe there might be some medicaton,even if just temporarily,?

Anyways, my best wishes for you during this "phase", hope things improve soon........

alevin

[Christina86]

(((((((((Rio)))))))))))))

It isn't considered cheating if you don't really think it is. Are you trying to still stop the behaviour? Yes. Are you causing yourself permanent/longer-lasting harm than actually pulling it out would? ... I'd say no.

Anything that could be possibly triggering this now? What about getting something to squeeze instead, like a rubber ball or a beanbag or something like that? Anything to keep the mind off of doing it.

You can do this. One day at a time. Breathe.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Rio))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You are not cheating you are struggling. Can you think of any of the other coping skills you used before? Maybe they would work now. Maybe you can identify what is causing you to revert back to using this coping skill. Please take care and I hope it gets easier for you.

BB

[x_BabyG_x]

((((Rio))))

Almost 18 months is a really big achievement - dont feel like you've cheated, you deserve to be rewarded anyway!

All I can suggest is not to hold it against yourself and keep finding other none harming ways to cope and distract yourself. Stay safe

babyg xXx

[Rio_]

Thanks, alevin. Guess that's true. I don't think medication is supposed to help very much with hair pulling, and anyway my parents wouldn't be too happy - they weren't keen on me being in therapy. Thanks for the suggestion, though!

[Rio_]

((((((Christina)))))) Thanks. I'm glad you don't think it's cheating...it doesn't feel like I'm trying very hard to stop, though.

It's possibly to do with the place I'm volunteering at - it can be quite stressful, and the last time I slipped up was when I was there on Friday. I'm not sure what I could do to keep my hands busy when I'm there that wouldn't look strange to the other volunteers. Typing can be quite good, though, because I need both hands for that.

Thanks. I may get the widget back - it seemed to help a bit.

[Rio_]

((((((bipolar_bear)))))) Thanks. When I was in school I used to try and keep hold of a pen lid or an eraser in my free hand - I've been trying to use my glasses case when I'm volunteering, but it hasn't been as good. Maybe if I can find something smaller that wouldn't look out of place in an office...so long as nobody would need to borrow it.

[Rio_]

((((BabyG)))) Thanks. I guess at least I haven't completely gone back to where I started - previous times I tried to quit, once I got to this stage I relapsed fully pretty quickly, and this time I haven't.