[jen29]

Hello everyone. I hurt myself about 2 nights ago. I fought and fought and fought the urge. I tried to talk myself out of it. I just couldn't fight anymore and I gave in. I cut with something I have never used before. Before that I burned myself on accident and it felt so good. My step-mom knew about my cutting in the past and knew that I had quit. She also told me that it was very disrespectful and if I were to live under her roof I was NOT to cut. Well, I am back living with them after 9 or 10 years. And I have been here 2 months now, and it happened. She will never find out of course, but I feel so guilty. Now that i know how it feels, I want to do it again and again. They have left for the day and am home alone with the dog. So the urge is extremally high. Actually it doesn't matter if they are home or not. I just know that I don't have to hide doing it until they get home. So my mind is going round and round as to what I should use. Please help! What do I do.

(((((((((jen29 ))))))))))))))
stop and breath first
can you call someone
a friend , your dr?
can you do something to take your mind off of it?
keep talking here

remember self care
muffy

[mlpHolmes]

Hi Jen,
Ok, relax, deep breath,& relax again. Does you Therapist have an Answering Service that will contact him for Emergency Calls? Call him. Wait for his call back.
If you are going to be home alone all day how about going to the Mall & seeing a movie! Keep buzy with ativities you like - sports,hobbies, walking, play computer games,gardening,shopping,take a bubble bath, go to events in your town. I would suggest: Call & wait for Therapist's callback,don't hear w/in 1 hour, call emergency no. again. Then distract yourself with activities you enjoy doing. We're here for you Jen. Keep posting. **Just Read** Baby G's reason NOT to SI? It would hurt all the people who love her & she loves.Thanks Baby!
Much Love,
Holmes

[In_The_Darkness]

My T told me a very good thing to ddo is find an elastic band, and wrap it around your wrist, then pull it up, lt it go and let it hit you. Apparently, it makes no marks and it isn't dangerous.

Hope this helps. OXO - HUGS!

[jen29]

Thanks everyone for your support. I have used the rubber band thing, just leaves welts for a few days, but yes it does work. I have also used ice, holding in my hand till can't take it anymore. Well, ended up with the whole thing melting. Anyways, I took a quick nap but had really bad dreams and so had to wake myself up. Thanks everyone.

[Christina86]

((((((((((((Jen29)))))))))))))))

Continue to PM me, ok? I'll help if I can.

Do you have a T or a counsellor, or someone to talk to who knows about the SI, a friend perhaps?

Please be safe. You're worth it.