[SylverFlames]

Really, it just seems like lately things get worse and worse. I've been dealing with so much, and have been so good, I hadn't si'd in over a month, even dealing with almost being kicked out of school for money reasons, and my brother trying to commit suicide, and struggling with massive money issues, and a mother that is clueless. And I was so happy that I got through all of this without si. And then my best friend dissapeared on me. He doesn't answer or return my calls, when I do get ahold of him, he either is too busy to talk to me, or he says he'll do something and won't show up, and he doesn't even have the excuse that I've been dumping too much on him, cause I've been trying to hard not to depend on him. He wasn't even there with me at all throughout the dealing with my brother. And I found out that he's been lying to me. After he blew me off for the fourth time last week, I gave in and cut again. And I'm so mad at myself for letting him get to me that much. I mean, I could handle my brother trying to kill himself, but I can't handle a friend being a flake.

Since I cut I've just been getting worse and worse. I've been depressed, and anxious. And all of my normal support people seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. I haven't even talked to one of my other best friends in over a week, cause she's been so busy with her own problems. I want to go in for therapy, but I'm nervous about it. I've had awful times with therapy in the past, and can't make myself go in again. I know I just need to make it through this week (last week of classes, major stress) and I'll have time to calm down.

[kroniklysuicidal]

Hi Sylver,

I am sorry that you are having to go through this all by yourself...with no friends to offer you needed support.

You say you've been in therapy before but have had bad experiences. Not all therapists are bad. Not all therapy is negative. There are some good ones out there.

Good luck with your last week of classes

Germ

[itsjustme111]

Hey there Sylver. I want u to know that we are here to help u through this. I know its tough to not have someone to be with when you are struggling so bad.

I agree with what kronikly said. It can be hard to "weed" through the good therapists and the not so good ones. Makes u feel like giving in. But u need some help and I see here that u are fighting to get well. Keep on fighting, we will support u in anyway possible. Glad u are here, keep venting ur frustrations.

Good luck with school. I am sure it will be a much needed rest and break away. Maybe take the chance to think about u and get some help. Let us know, we are behind u 100% of the way.

Justy

[SylverFlames]

Thanks guys! Things seem a little better today than they did yesterday. I mean, all of the problems are still there, but they no longer feel like they are beating at my head constantly.

[SweetCrusader]

((((Sylver))))

I don't have any words of advice today because I have no brains today. Just wanted you to know I care and I read your post