[Cthomas]

its been like over 200 days since I cut. or did any sort of SI.

After yesterdays birthday fizzle, i am just crawling out of my skin today. dont want to be around nobody, dont wanna talk to nobody. Nobody called, Thanks to the friends here i am feeling kinda loved.....you guys seem to step up to the plate. Seeing as though my family and friends all forgot. except my mom. thank GOD or id be over the edge. too many woulda coulda shoulda's in my life right now. Need a pity party today and a fresh start tomorrow. just dont know if I have anothe in me.

Would much rather take the alternative. thanks for listening.
colleen

[Sannah]

Hi Colleen, sorry about what happened. So those around you don't give you what you need?

[purplebutterfly]

((((((((Colleen)))))))))

[Cthomas]

I just feel that they dont get me. I thought at one time they did. My husband of 15 years told me 5 months ago that he wanted a divorce that i abuse him because of the bipolar and i dont trust him (i do. just cant get past the letting him go out part) and i dont know why. were working on it. but i was having such a hard time turning forty and i thought my husband would at least buy a card. he took me out on sunday. But i was hoping on the actual day for a card (am i expecting too much here?) I paid for my birthday lunch on sunday technically.....and all my friends forgot. They are holding me accountable for not being around (while working on my marriage) and that just sucks.

the only card I got was from a co-worker who has known me for exactly TWO WEEKS!

my own flesh and blood - not even a kiss my butt email

me

ps. thanks for responding. i havent been around here much lately. feeling as if im ticking off you guys too

[Sannah]

I don't think that birthdays are all that important. Actually I hate it when I have to do something just because the calendar says that it is a certain holiday or something. I would much rather connect with people spontaneously. There are so many opportunities every single day to connect with others on a meaningful level. I think that a lot of this other stuff is kind of meaningless actually.

I am new here. You have never ticked me off. I do remember seeing your screen name......

I am sorry that you are feeling distressed.

[Cthomas]

I understand about the hallmark holiday stuff but i figure it this way....not too many people in my immediate life were happy about the day i was born.....to me its a chance to try and be happy.....

I guess youre right tho......thanks so much for posting..

@purple....back atchat

[Sannah]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cthomas said:
i figure it this way....not too many people in my immediate life were happy about the day i was born.....to me its a chance to try and be happy.....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I would want real happiness in everyday life, not the Hallmark stuff.....

[Cthomas]

I agree. You have a point.....but it was hard for me....however i do get what youre saying.

I appreciate you taking the time to post.

Colleen

[bchlyn]

colleen... happy birthday... and just for the record... i am happy for the day you were born... happy and thankful... please stay safe

[x_BabyG_x]

Sorry I havent posted sooner, I have been away.

just wanna say well done for resisting the urges all this time - you really are an inspiration to us here at pc - x

[bchlyn]

how are you today colleen?

[Cthomas]

thANKS!

I THINK YOURE PRETTY AWESOME TOO