[sharita]

I'm 19 and I have a problem where I have to have attention. It's like a drug I need it and I get the urges and feelings to somehow go out and get it. I don't like doing this but to get attention I usually do something purposely to get in trouble or I guess you can say I manipulate people also. I do have feelings for people I just use them to satisfy my craving for attention. I can't stop it and if I don't get it I get depressed and I hate that. Last week I punched a wall several times just to break my hand and get attention it's the first time I ever done something to hurt myself. I did succeed and I had to go to the hospital, but right after I broke my knuckles I didn't want attention anymore. It was like the feeling was gone so two days later when I felt like I needed attention I did the same thing and the feeling went away. The third time I hurt myself was to make the attention seeking urges and feeling go away, and again it worked. I would like to know if this could be a start to self injuring myself on a regular basis? Even though I feel like I can stop anytime and go back to doing the regular things I did to get attention.

[SweetCrusader]

I think it's very important that you explore where this desperate need for attention is coming from, and why you seek it in destructive ways rather than opening up and saying "hey, I need someone to see me and hear me." There is nothing wrong with craving attention. We all feel that way. We're humans. We're social beings. We need it. We thrive on eachother's love and attention. And when we don't get enough of it, we can turn to unhealthy means of trying to elicit it.

Basically I'm asking, what's underneath this behavior, in your case?

[hopestheory]

maybe its just me but that sounds like borderline personality disorder i could be completely wrong but i know that a therapist i know has said that si and bpd go hand in hand and a lot of time bpds have a need to crave attention. im not saying you are at all i'm just telling you what i've heard you should talk to your t and if you don't have one you might consider getting on good luck and hugs if you want them!

[hopestheory]

btw i probably shouldn't have even said anything abou that bpd thing its just that i thought it might be helpful for you to research and see if perhaps you fall into that catagory. please don't take offense to that. i have been told that b/c i used to cut to get attention that thats what i have. but then my cutting got worse and i didn't do it for attention anymore i did it b/c it relieved pain and it was a way of coping. i'm just sharing my expierience i'm not saying that it pertains in any way to you!

[sharita]

I'm very passive that's why I don't open up to people. I stay mostly to myself until I have to have attention. I have though and though about where it could be coming from but I have no clue. It started at a young age but I didn't realize it until middle school, it didn't really start to affect my life until high school, and when I went to college it destroyed my life because I couldn't find a way to get it.

[SweetCrusader]

Do you think maybe you could work on asking for people for attention, and opening up more BEFORE you get to the point where you feel desperate for attention? I think if you could come up with some ideas on how to learn to do that, it might help you a lot.

[Zenobia]

Sometimes my husband will start getting on my nerves. Interrupting what I am doing and being in a pain an the you know what. When this happens and my irritation starts rising I turn to him and simply say "I think you need some attention." Then I give him a big hug and he eats it up like a big kid. The need of attention has nothing to do with being mentally ill but has everything to do with being human. It is the way we go about getting that attention the can point to problems.

I do believe you are on the road to a self injury addiction. Yes, you could probably stop now but over time that will not be the case. I recommend that you stop now and focus on the need of attetion and how you can get it in a healthy manner.
Carrie