[Kiya]

holding myself accountable for reporting injury.

[MINIME]

R u ok?

[bchlyn]

((((((kiya))))))

[Kiya]

Minime - yes i am ok thank you

thanks lyn.

called t to report (per our agreement) and she actually answered. so much for the drive by and run method i had been banking on.

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am glad you got a chance to talk to your t. I am sorry things are so hard.

BB

[Kiya]

Hmmmmmm. i was really shocked by her answering.
today provided more clues to the switching that led up to it.
k

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( kiya )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thinking of you.

[silentandscared]

((((((((((((((((((((KIYA)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! GLAD THERE WAS SOMEONE ON THE END OF THEPHONE EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T EXPECT IT

[bchlyn]

glad she answered... i know about hit and run messages... take gentle care...lyn

[Kiya]

(((((((((((((earth, silent, lyn))))))))))))))
thanks all.
the hardr part was having to then report that there were more cuts *after* i talked to her.
the neat thing is that i know she'll say "you are where you and do what you can to get through".
kiya

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Kiya said:

the neat thing is that i know she'll say "you are where you and do what you can to get through".

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Wow. T always talks about learning to give myself some grace - I think I will remember this quote from your T, because I think that is what he is talking about.

(((((((((((((((((( kiya )))))))))))))))))) when do you see T this week?

[x_BabyG_x]

Sorry I havent replied sooner, i hope your okay.... at least you plucked up the courage to 'ask' for help, even I havent even managed to fingure out how to do that yet

take care hun, hope our feeling better now - x

[Kiya]

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earthmama said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Kiya said:

the neat thing is that i know she'll say "you are where you are and do what you can to get through".

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Wow. T always talks about learning to give myself some grace - I think I will remember this quote from your T, because I think that is what he is talking about.

(((((((((((((((((( kiya )))))))))))))))))) when do you see T this week?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Heh - it woul help more with all the words in it =) I went up and put back in the "where you ARE " that should be there....
I see T on wed.... as well as MD and the DO.... busy day. Thankfully t is here for my day. She was supposed to be out of town, and is now leaving on Thurs (as is the DO).

[Kiya]

Thanks babyg, i am in there. turns out that day i missed a bunch of the supplements i take for anxiety and depression so my brain chemistry had a lil crash.

looks like you might be seeing hard times too? hope you're alright!

[bchlyn]

i am glad your t will be there... sometimes i do the best on busy days... you know?... your t extends you more grace then mine does with i cut... he is pretty hard line you know?... oh well it keeps me safe, mostly... kiya just remember to sit on that stump once in awhile... and i am walking the trail with you...lyn

[Pseudonym]

******************************big owly hug****************************

Good for you for holding yourself accountable. I'm proud of you, fox.

[Kiya]

I also do better on busy days (the last busy day I had was june 12th). Helps keep me more even keeled, and then too exhausted afterwards to care.
Right now i am spacing out too much to gather my thoughts coherently.
if i were smart, i'd arrange a check in with t after my scary appnt on tued... even tho i see her wed night.
@_@

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Kiya said:

if i were smart, i'd arrange a check in with t after my scary appnt on tued... even tho i see her wed night.
@_@

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">\

Well, since you ARE smart, why don't you go ahead and do this????

[Kiya]

i still haven't. BECAUSE!!! because .... cuz i .... um...
DLIFJIJDFLIJDFLIJLJlfij!!! because i don't want to bug her.
Because I don't want to call her today and have her randomly answer again....
Because I think that there is a chance that a check in (aka someone caring about me) after this scary planned parenthood exam would more than likely result in more cutting as it often does.
Somehow having another individual see the pain and fear, acknowledge it, and say it's ok to experience that just makes it all the more unbarable.

[Pseudonym]

I didn't want to have to do this, but if you arrange the check-in, I'll send you a humorous photo of me when I was 10 years old. How's THAT for incentive? =)

(((((Kiya))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( kiya ))))))))))))))))

[Kiya]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Pseudonym said:
I didn't want to have to do this, but if you arrange the check-in, I'll send you a humorous photo of me when I was 10 years old. How's THAT for incentive? =)

(((((Kiya))))))

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I thought you said you DIDN'T read the posts!!!!!

[Kiya]

thank you fuzzy.

allllllllllright.... i put a call out to t. i don't know if a check in will be poss. i also don't know that it will help. soooo we shall see.

(where's that photo pseudo??)

[Pseudonym]

Sent.
(((((((((((((Kiya)))))))))))))))))

[bchlyn]

kiya... i don't know if you remember but last fall i had my first pelvic since i was assaulted.... it was close to 22 years...lol (but not funny) ... i did everything i could to make it safe for me... what motivated me was the death of my sister in law from ovarian cancer a year earlier... my doctor wanted me to take a xanax before the exam... but i knew i would have to drive so i couldn't... i scheduled an appointment with my t for right after... it helped me to know that he was expecting me and that i would have a safe person to de-escalate (is that a word?) with... that being said... make the appointment...please.... stay safe lyn