sometimes

it would be so much easier just to give up....lyn

why is it when your world feels like it's crashing... this is the time that the flashes and urges are the worst.

pros
1. if i cut i will be able to distance myself from it all even if it's only for a short time.
2. if i cut i will be able to sleep
3. it's my body and i should be able to cut if i want (mature huh?)
4. if i cut i will feel feel better
5. if i cut it will keep me from getting to that really dark place that i am headed for quickly and never sure if i can get out of.
6. if i cut my panic attacks will go away
7. if i cut the flashes will stop for awhile
8. if i cut maybe the binging will stop
9. if i cut i won't have to deal with these emotions i have no clue what to do with.


cons
1. if i cut i will have to wear long sleeves
2. if i cut i will have to admit to t
3. if i cut he will make me show him
4. if i cut i will have to talk about it
5. if i cut i will feel ashamed when i think about what i did

(((((((Lyn)))))))))
Don't give up hun.
Go for a walk, talk about what's wrong here.
Watch a movie, do something to make you feel good.
I am here if you want to talk.
Lots of hugs
Silver

((((((((((((((((((((((( Lyn )))))))))))))))))))))))))

It's so hard to be in the place where you're at.

Can you change something? Go outside maybe?

Sometimes, I promise myself if I can just get through TONIGHT without cutting, I can cut tomorrow. And sometimes, tomorrow comes and I feel different and don't need to do it.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Lyn ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Thinking of you and sending many

((((((((((((lyn)))))))
As you know, I am well aware of all those pros, but, if you look at them they are short term relief, it really doesn't help in the long run. (yeah, I know, try to tell me that when I feel that way!)
earthmama's idea of telling yourself you can cut later, or tomorrow, whatever to put it off, is a great one. I've had to do that a lot and usually the next day I don't feel like I need to do it, or at least not so urgently.
(BTW-- take that emergency med if you need to.!!)

ty, i didn't cut yet.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((lyn))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so glad you have been able to resist hurting yourself.

BB