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#1
Oct 15, 2008, 09:28 AM
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please please please tell me what is wrong with me? I seem to be pushing people out of my life one by one. My aunt, and my mom got into an argument, my aunt is bipolar. She told my mom i dont want anything to do with you. then last night. (mind you my first aunt died 2 days ago) she calls my mom and says tell colleen i dont need you or her in my life.
So there you have it, either they die or leave....im sorry what part of that should i be happy about? My self confidence is in the toilet, i feel like between my marriage, my family or so called family and friends, i am just the biggest ogre around. I need the truth from you guys. you guys understand me Colleen |
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#2
Oct 15, 2008, 09:42 AM
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(((((((Colleen))))))))))
You are no ogre. Maybe it does seem like you're the reason people aren't in your life anymore... but it takes two people to fight, and so you can't take responsibility for the whole thing. I'm truly sorry you're aunt has passed away.. but she didn't pass away because of you. Her passing is not reflective of your relationship, and so although you're hurting from not having her in your life... its not your fault. As for your other aunt... you said it yourself, she's bipolar. She has her OWN issues. I read this great quote over the weekend "you can't compare yourself to others because you don't know what journey they are on." Ultimately, it was your aunt's decision to claim to not "need you in her life", but i'm positive that there are other factors that are contributing to her decision. These other things could be completely separate from you or your mom, but it is her inability to deal with life stressors and as a result she is taking them out on you. It's not right... not right at all, but its not entirely your fault, if at all. Just look at the relationship you have with your mom... do you honestly think she would be sticking around and supporting you if you weren't a good person? Absolutely not. Look at yourself through HER eyes of love... People are going to come in and out of your life. Some of them you're going to get a long with, some of them you're not. But whether you do or you don't isn't all placed on you. Other people have their own struggles just as you and I, and its a multitude of things working together that can affect relationships. Try and not take this all on yourself. You are a good person, and you do have people in your life that support and love you. Lean on them in your time of pain, and trust that they love you because you are worth it... because you are NOT an ogre. 
__________________
The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#3
Oct 15, 2008, 10:02 AM
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First off you are no orge, next I can understand how you may feel, but remember as being bipolar goes, a person can be like that one day and the next a different way- remember your aunt has feelings too and maybe she is just trying to cope just like you and myself cope each day, things will get better Colleen, just give your aunt some time. You are all grieving right now and your feelings are very real right now, please stay safe you have more friends here than you know.
 PM me anytime you need to vent, im here 
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http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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#4
Oct 15, 2008, 10:23 AM
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Colleen, as the others have said, you are not responsible. Look at the words your aunt said. She said, "I don't need you guys in my life." Not, "you guys aren't worthy to be in my life." This is about her. As a lot of know, bipolar is exactly that--both poles of the spectrum. Not seeing things correctly. You have made significant changes in your life recently and they are all positive. Please do not let her instability and inability to see how hurtful words are affect your progress. You wanted honesty, so honestly I think 1) she needs help and 2) it will be healthier for you to tell her you love her, you'll miss her, you hope she will be safe, but until she realizes how hurtful she is being, you cannot have her in your life. It's time to stand up straight up and tall and proud of what you've done in your life and not let her upset you like that. More to the point than her not needing you, is you not needing that kind of treatment. You can say all that with love and respect and once she returns the love and respect you can move on with a relationship. You know I'm here for you.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#5
Oct 15, 2008, 11:26 AM
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Toxic family?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Oct 15, 2008, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Good one!!!! and very very true so i am learning... what the hell.....time to walk away? i think so Colleen lol |
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#7
Oct 15, 2008, 04:47 PM
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(((colleen)))
sometimes... walking away is the best thing to do. sorry i can't say anything else. but i do not think of you as an ogre or anything. i think you are all things nice and send you many hugs, twilight
__________________
花鳥風月
c'est tout ce que j'aime |
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