[SweetCrusader]

So over Christmas break, my little (17 year-old) sister found a stash of razor blades in my purse.

I forgot they were there They were in a zipped-up pocket, but she went through everything, every pocket, and she found them. One had dried up blood on it still- the only time EVER I have put a blade away without cleaning it first

I felt so terrible. My T doesn't think I should feel bad about that, but I do.

Would you all feel bad??

Angela,

What precisely do you feel badly about?

*that your sister found out and now 'knows' you SI?
*that you were 'caught'--period?
*because weeks have passed since you last used SI do you now feel this ruins your accomplishments?
or some other reasons not given here?

I do not utilize this particular way of coping so I cannot fully understand all aspect of it. I do try though and agree with your T that you needn't feel badly about this.

It wasn't like you were aware of your purse contents. If I had to tell you what was in my purse right now I couldn't and I'm sure there might be a thing or two in there I'd rather not have my mother or therapist see (fodder for therapy right there!! lol). This wasn't intentional Angela so that is why you needn't feel badly about it. You didn't plan this out nor did you want this to occur.........at least not that we know of.........right?

Did you end up talking with you sister at all about this?

Sorry if I raise more questions than answers but I'm the curious sort.

btw.......name change went through while you were gone I think so you'll see in signature I'm still the hussy duh.....after editing the code doesn't work anymore so check another post which I haven't edited and yewl C. ;p

[SweetCrusader]

tks ZH. I recognized you, of course!

I feel badly because now she will probably be worried about me. What a crummy thing for her to be faced with for Christmas I have a major issue with feeling TERRIBLE about people worrying about me. She already knew I had a problem with it "in the past," but she wasn't aware it was currently happening. Also, she has cut herself once before and now I always worry that she will model herself after my behavior in this instance. She likes to copy the things I like and do. She looks up to me. That makes me sad.

T asked if I was trying to pretend I was "perfect". That's not it at all. I just don't want anyone to feel badly or waste their time worrying about me. I know it's HELL (pardon my french) worrying about someone you love, and I don't want to do that to my family and friends.

No, I did NOT plan it. It was DEFINITELY not on purpose.

Yes, I did talk with her and I assured her that I didn't have them there because I was planning anything. They were actually in my purse because I put them there to give to T, but chickened out. NOT because I was going to use them. And I told her that. I hope it helped.

I still feel bad. Wish she didn't have to deal with this crap.

I think you were honest in how you approached this situation once it arose and now talking about afterwards you're showing your fears.

I really admire your sharing this. Thank you.

One thing I can tell you is that ppl have enough crap of their own to deal with. They really don't take on as much as we believe. Especially so when we in our mental states (be it disease or disorder) believe that others are burdened with our crap. For all you know your sister has some crush going on and although your conversation with her was mature, honest, and important she's probably thinking of some fella with big brown eyes and thick hair and oh soooooooo handsome..........she IS 17 after all, right?

I'm glad you survived that many miles w/o incident over the holiday. Your state has much beauty and I spent late December in Zion one year. Magical.

[SpazKatt]

hey sweet... yes it happened to me however my sister was 10 and thought I was dying... and showed them to my mom...I felt horrible...