[Rapunzel]

Next Tuesday I'm getting laser surgery so that I don't have to wear glasses or contact lenses anymore. It's my Christmas present. I really hate glasses, and have had to not wear contacts in preparation for this surgery, so I've probably worn glasses more in the last 3 weeks than in the last 15 years! They are driving me nuts.

At the same time, I'm pretty stressed about my kids and my bad parenting skills, and I'm tired of dealing with it, and feel like I'm just barely treading water. I told T I would not have any crises this year, but at this point it would be so much easier to stop fighting it. My depression quiz is gaining about 5 points per week and now is up to 61. It would probably go down some if I tried it at times other than when I've gotten myself worked up over something.

Today was ok in the morning. I went to the pre-op appointment, and my eyes have felt strange all day because of drops they put in, and I couldn't focus close up. Meeting Gloria for lunch was really nice. But after that it went downhill. Mark lectured me all the way home about Carol (10-year-old daughter), and her feeling dumped on, and feeling picked on because we tell her to pick up after herself, but we (Carol says Mark, but Mark includes me in it) don't. On Wednesdays I ask the kids to all help and clean the house, and I work on it along with them, but they complain and run off, and I spend more time trying to get them to stay on-task than getting anything done. Mark sat and played computer games. Usually he's not home when we do that, so it's not a big deal, but we all resented that he didn't help at all, except to yell at people. There's more to it, but I'm more and more sensitive to all the yelling, and feel horrible when I break down and yell too.

I've cut twice this week already, and today was clawing at my back with fingernails, and using pins. And jumping rope with a sprained ankle from last week. It doesn't hurt a lot anymore, but is still swollen and sensitive.

I'm worried about the eye surgery because it would be so easy to just not follow directions and mess something up. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't report it if something was going wrong. I would regret it, though, if I messed up my eyes. So, I need somebody to be accountable to about this. Would you all like to help me? I asked Angela, and she said she would, but it doesn't seem fair to put so much on her, so I decided to post about it here. I guess all I really need to do is report in each day. Here's what I'm supposed to do:
[list][*]not wear contact lenses (i've been cheating once or twice a week just because i get so tired of wearing glasses)[*]fill a prescription for antibiotics[*]after the surgery (Tuesday) take the antibiotics (i don't know how long)[*]use eyedrops (a couple of different kinds)[*]wear sunglasses during the day and eye shields at night for 3 days[*]not wear eye makeup[*]not touch or rub eyes

It would just be so easy for me to not bother following directions, and I don't even know what my mood will be like next week. I think it will help to have to report to somebody about it though.

Thanks,
Wendy

[Fuzzybear]

I'd like to help (((((((((((((((Wendy)))))))))))))))

Love,
Fuzzy

[h0kie]

I'll help! My husband's cousin had eye surgery and from what he experienced, I think you will want to follow the directions.

With the antibiotics, you will probably have to take them until they are gone. Prolly about a week to 10 days. You can do this. Just think of the reward at the end...no glasses or contacts ever again!

Should you throw your contacts away? Or hide them? So you can't cheat?

[Rapunzel]

((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))

I'm off to work in a bit. Both jobs today. Five hours at one and then straight to the other one for 7.5 hours.

Rap - We'll all keep your hiney in line! You'd better report to the thread at LEAST once day missey!! Or ELSE......um.....lemme get back to you on that one.

Emmy

[wisewoman]

me too Rap. I am a great watcher! Please take good care of yourself.

[Rapunzel]

Thanks 1day, Susan, Emmy, and WW. I feel better with all of you helping to keep me in line.

I behaved myself today. Not much opportunity otherwise, since I was at work, and I pretty much have to be good there. The biggest temptation to cheat on the contact lenses is Saturday, when I work 8 a.m. until 10:30 p.m. It's hard to deal with glasses for that long, and that's the day I always cheat.

Nope! Not THIS Saturday you won't! Cause we will ALL be watching you! I suggest you tell people IRL about why you are wearing your glasses....that way they will help keep you in line too. You can surely tell your co-workers. And you could even tell your clients. Heck, they'd enjoy giving you a hard time.

Remember...we are not talking about a scar you can hide with long sleeves, or a one-piece bathing suit. We are talking about the eyes you need to use for the rest of your days. The ones you will use to watch you children with, and the ones you'll use to watch baby animals be born, and the ones you'll use to get that next college degree! You MUST take care of them.

Get it, girly girl???

The Eminator (that's me when I'm tough)

[Rapunzel]

Well, I told my Head Start co-workers. They were telling stories about someone who was going to be off to Iraq, but isn't, because the Army sent him for laser surgery and it was botched. Almost everyone else says it has worked out well, though, and they have no regrets.

Integrity House is a bigger temptation to wear the contacts because it's a more active job, and I feel more confident especially about the possibility of managing residents who might act out and stuff like that, without the glasses. Maybe it's all an illusion anyway. Actually, I did mention the laser surgery to one of the girls, who asked why I was wearing glasses on Thursdays and Sundays but not Saturdays. They don't miss much.

I need to get some knitting projects set up that aren't all that critical as far as being able to see. They said blurriness was normal for a couple of days. It was so wierd Wednesday when they put drops in my eyes that kept me from being able to focus. I could see distance, but could not look down and read something I was holding.

[SpazKatt]

oh yes rap I get those every time I go to the eye doctor.

[wisewoman]

Rap, tell the kids you need to wear the glasses and ask for their support. It gives them a job and it helps you. So often we don't allow the kids to give back. It's a win win.

So Rap - How is Saturday going??? Hmmmm????

emsky (hoping today is Saturday.....)

[Fuzzybear]

ok Rap, check in please!!!

Fuzzy/Bear/Fuzzette/The Fuzzanator (and you had better watch out if I am the last one!!!!!)

[SweetCrusader]

I believe she's at work right now. I think we'll probably not hear from her until 11pm (mountain time)

But when you got on, Rap, I'll expect a full report!

Angela

[wisewoman]

Rap, I am watching you! Are you behaving? be well my sweet rabbit lover friend.

[h0kie]

just adding my $0.02....Ozzie is right, you should get the kids involved. They love helping.

[Rapunzel]

Hi everyone. Thanks for hounding me. I need that.

Just got home from work. I did wear glasses today, but didn't tell the girls to hound me, since tomorrow is the last day they will see me with glasses. I didn't want to come back here and report that I asked you for help and then just did what I would have done anyway, so know that this is helping. Have been trying to get someone to trade me Sunday shifts (I work just morning on Sundays and wish I could go to church at least some of the time - I'd be fine with working swing shift), and have about three people who say they would trade me sometimes, but so far won't commit to any specific dates or schedule or anything. It's probably just as well that I don't get to go to church tomorrow, as I would probably wear contact lenses. But I'll be at work, and for just 8-3, so I can handle that.

My ankle is another story. I'm really not letting it heal. I keep doing yoga stretches and positions that hurt it, and jumping rope. But concentrating on that might be enough of a distraction, huh? And I guess it is healing. You should have seen me run down the stairs full speed behind the girls when there was a fire drill today. Up until that point I was limping down the stairs, even though I don't limp when I walk anymore. I even bought myself some new boots, since we are having wet slushy snow here every other day, and my other boots that I was wearing all the time because it feels better to have some ankle support have holes in the bottoms, and my socks were getting soaked as soon as I stepped out the door.

Cutting is up to three times for the week, and when I got home and saw that although the kids had cleaned up the laundry room like I told them to (it was bad!), they left garbage all over the living room and kitchen that we had looking good and I was trying to maintain, and also left the bread that I got up early this morning to help them make just sitting in the pans all day to dry out. I mentioned these things to hubby, and he said it isn't worth it to even try because I'll never be satisfied no matter how hard they work. So I clawed at my back some more.

How's that for a full report? TMI?

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} to all of you for caring.

Rap