I feel like an idiot

I seem to have no problem talking myself into hurting myself, outwardly and inwardly even though I usually tend to operate on a very logical basis. Tonight I'm all emotion and can't seem to escape my own foolishness. Everything hurts.

I am so sorry that I just saw this. I hope you are able to stay safe. I know those urges. I have been fighting them for quite some time now. And while emotions get in the way i keep telling myself that i hurt enough and i try to stay away from physical pain.

I know its hard. I know those urges. Please stay safe.

Colleen

((((((((((Tumnus))))))))))
I find that emotions usually trump logic.... and when we SI, its normally because our emotions are so overwhelming that it seems "logical" that we are no good and thus need to punish ourselves. I too am a very logical person... but no matter how much I can rationalize how seemingly stupid it would be to hurt myself, the emotional part of me takes over and logic is only looming in the distance.
Feel free to msg me if you ever need to talk, ok?
Take care....

Tumnus, are you going through some tough times?

I wasn't so safe last night, but I'm okay today. Thanks for caring.

Sannah, I'm not going through anything I haven't beat before. Just not feeling up to the challenge this time.

Glad youre doing ok today.

Hoping you continue to stay safe. I know its difficult.

But none of us deserves to hurt.

Take care.

Colleen

((Jacq))) this rings true for me... since it is emotion which assumes control, logically, are you able to choose an emotion which supports healing for yourself in those times you feel the urges? i know it is logical, la la la... but if the source of our urge is pain, and we know kindness is what we desire, can we, in the moment, choose self kindness over self harm? it is very hard and we do need to breathe through it.. PC is our helpful tool in staying strong together, sending lots of huggy people

Are you feeling a little run down?

Try a lot run down...

Anything that you can think of that might help? Is there anyone who can help? Can you lighten your load somehow? Anyone you can reach out to IRL?

Have done what I can in terms of reaching out. I have friends IRL praying, offering practical help. I try not to tell them that much, though. It just freaks them out. I have a good pdoc and T that I can tell the rest to--if I ever choose to. Need to ride this one through, I think. Even with the friends in place, I wound up being stupid again this morning. Something in me has to give before I can actually receive the help that's there.

This sounds like a gold mine statement! I hope that you have some insight in to this.........