[jade1]

I can;t stop cutting, and its getting harder and harder to hide. downward spiral.

[jade1]

anybody have any advice? Will post more about myself later today

[Sannah]

Are you in therapy?

[darkrunner]

(((((((((((((((((Jade))))))))))))))))))))
be careful, please stop hurting yourself.
we care about you even if you don't.
is there someone you can talk to?

[MINIME]

Ok I want you to listen to me. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!! Did that help? I think sometimes it may but probably not. I hope your ok.

[jade1]

Originally Posted by ktgirl

(((((((((((((((((Jade))))))))))))))))))))
be careful, please stop hurting yourself.
we care about you even if you don't.
is there someone you can talk to?

Thank you both for responding. I start therapy Thursday but it seems a long time to wait when you cut everyday, multiple times. I've spent 16 days out of the last month in the hosital but they don't seem to really address it there. I'm bipolar with borderline peronality disorder. I know my husband is fed up, and although I can talk to him, he doesn't understand why I do it and gets pised when he sees it, which makes me want to cut more. It feels ike it will never end, I;ll never be "normal" and like time is running out for me quickly. I'm weary. I won't get graphic as to how I feel when I cut, don;t want to trigger anybody. Thanks

[jade1]

Originally Posted by MINIME

Ok I want you to listen to me. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!! Did that help? I think sometimes it may but probably not. I hope your ok.

God how I wish it wee that simple, but thank you

[Sannah]

Jade, I'm glad you are starting therapy. I'm sorry you are so distressed ..........

[darkrunner]

take care of yourself -

[blameme]

((((JADE)))) Please, Please take a breath and try to vent in other ways. And I know it's not easy, I am a fellow cutter, but just know that all of us here care and even if you feel you don't care.

[x_BabyG_x]

hey Jade, my name is Megan.

Im a cutter aswell, and trying to stop. Ive tried to just stop so many times, but as time (i think its been about a year now until I properly tried to stop) went by, I realised if you really want to do this then its a slow, slow process.

If your cutting everyday, then why dont you just pick one or two days in the week where your not allowed to cut? Pick your less stressful days, and just practice doing it, but you cant break the rules and carry on from there. Soon, youll be able to see that you can actually go a day or two without it, and all of a sudden it becomes that tiny bit easier. Im glad you found this site coz I know that its hard to deal with stuff like this, and its good to talk to people who understand and are goin through the same thing! You could also have words with ur husband about it and ask him to help you through it, and to try and understand a bit more

hope this helps - babyg xxx

[GoodMama]

Originally Posted by jade1

I can;t stop cutting, and its getting harder and harder to hide. downward spiral.

Hi Jade ... and warm hugs to you!

Have you read the ideas about what to do instead of cutting ... and most importantly, the Reasons not to? They're at the top of the SI forum page. When I first learned that my daughter cut, I read both of them, then printed them out to discuss with her.

The one she quotes the most is this ... why are YOU hurting yourself when you've already BEEN hurt? You're just letting the someone else WIN when you cut.

Please read the topics at the top of the SI Forum page! There's most likely something there that WILL help you, Jade. And remember, here at PC, you're always welcome!

Take good care, Jade ... and please be aware of infection!

Good Mama

[jade1]

Originally Posted by blameme

((((JADE)))) Please, Please take a breath and try to vent in other ways. And I know it's not easy, I am a fellow cutter, but just know that all of us here care and even if you feel you don't care.

Thank you sooo much everybody. I actually did nd up cutting too deep, almost killind myself, and had to spend some time in the mental hospital again. It really scared me and at th moment have no desire to cut. I'm just really hoping it stays that way. Thanks again, I'll be around here still.

[jade1]

Originally Posted by jade1

Thank you sooo much everybody. I actually did nd up cutting too deep, almost killind myself, and had to spend some time in the mental hospital again. It really scared me and at th moment have no desire to cut. I'm just really hoping it stays that way. Thanks again, I'll be around here still.

Cutting again, but hiding it as my husband is really fed up and don't want to further damage kids. Tried explaining to him that its a process to stop and cold turkey is like trying to stop drugs. Going for first therapy session this morning, hope she knows something about all this. Wish me luck!!!

[Sannah]

Jade I am glad that you are in therapy. How did it go?

[DoggyBonz]

i know that feeling of it being harder to hide. short sleeves are not an option right now. you said you were starting therapy, i hope it helps and w/o telling you what is best that is for your therapist i hope it is dbt or cbt or has some of those elements. just seems like right now for me i really want to learn other safer behaviors.

[jade1]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Jade I am glad that you are in therapy. How did it go?

Therapy was a MESS!!! I had an app. at 10am, I get there and they reschdule me for 1:30, then I get there again and they are too backed up to see me. So I requested they tranfer my file to another agency that deals only with mental health issues. I can call tomorrow to make my first app. In the meantime I've been cutting away. Determined not to cut today, maybe the rubber band trick? Just worried cause the blood gets me off. Sounds sick right? Sorry. Running out of places to hide the cuts. Been cutting underneath my breasts but their so small I'm out of room more info than needed but a little humor helps sometimes!

[jade1]

Feeling Like a freak of nature today. How do I put a trigger at the begining of my thread or is it to late?

[cantstopcrying]

You say the blood gets you off--have you tried marking on your body with a red marker where you would cut? I don't know if you've been here or not http://www.selfharm.net/fself.html but it's a good site.

[jade1]

I'll try that, thanks

[Sannah]

[dance59326]

Hi Jade1, I know that cutting is really difficult. I haven't done anything since March 6th, 2008, but last week, I blew it. I've been doing the samething as you now for a week and I called my DBT therapist when I had an ultimate crisis. Here's what she told me directly:

“Just stop, press the pause button like a movie because what has happened doesn’t matter, you’re in the now, change what is happening now and forget about the past”

“Cutting is really doing nothing; it’s a waste of time and is only going to ruin your life”

“Do something instead of cutting to get yourself out of the problem of feeling nothing, take a hot or cold shower, just don’t be in for too long”

I know that you're having a rough time, but I know that you can change. You are the one who controls you, not someone else. This relates to triggers, things may be upsetting you, but in reality, it is you who can make a difference. I hope that this advice is worth reading and can help you. I know that times are rough, but you can't let yourself beat you about it. Take the power in your hands and create the difference.