Freaking Out.

There are just TOO many things that need to be done and not even NEARLY enough time to get them done in.

I called into my work for my schedule and I work 4 times this week! Plus I have my 6 classes to attend to, group project meetings, and Ringette commitments!

I just want to cut and I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking, and right now thats ALL I want to do.

And I don't see my T for like 3 weeks (we had an appt confusion/mishap and so I already haven't seen her for 2 weeks)... I'm so anxious about not being able to see her. Then I catch myself thinking "well maybe if I cut good enough I can go to the dr's and be able to see my pdoc" - who I also haven't seen in forever....... crazy thinking going on in my head.

Please, anything, any encouragement would be greatly appreciated. I'd REALLY like to not resort to cutting, but unless some miracle happens or something shifts.... I'm afraid that I won't be able to fight it.

(((((((((((((Jacq)))))))))))))) Need to talk? I'm here if you need me.

That sounds like a crazy schedule! Breathe, first. Second, can you tell work that you just cannot work that much this week, or find a fill-in? You're taking a lot of classes woman! Why are you taking 6? Normally it's only 5 for "full-time"! Can you drop one and pick it up later? Group projects are important, so you can't skip them - and I know how much you like ringette, so that's a good stress relief.

I'm sorry you've not seen T in that long That sucks... as for your "crazy thinking" ... I've done it too, so if that makes us both crazy, can I be a part of the club??

Jacq - Breathe. Take it one day at a time, if you need to skip a class this week to sleep or do self-care, then just make sure you skip a class where you can get the notes from a friend! What about taking some time to do something enjoyable, even if it's only watching "The Simpsons" or another show on TV.

You're holding on, that's a good thing.

Hang in there - Christina86 has some good suggestions,
I would like to add can you call your T or Pdoc? maybe they could talk to you for a while and help the urge pass. (especially if as you say you havnt talked to your pdoc for a while - time to check in with him maybe?)

Can you call afriend - I do that I talk to a friend who makes me laugh - and it takes the edge of the urge - I wish there was a magic phrase or button to make it go away - I'd be shouting it from the rooftops and pushing that button till it broke!

Please take care of you - if yuor schedule is too much see how much you can drop - your health is more important than your schedule - P7

((((((Christina)))))) Thanks buddy...
I actually do have to call in to work and get them to fix my schedule because I realised they schedule me to work on Tues when I have my night class. And yes 5 courses is typical of a full time student.... but i'm behind a credit and didn't feel like paying the $500 to take one this summer when I can (hopefully) cram really hard this semester and make up for it w/out paying more. The good thing about my crazy workload is that 4 of my courses are distance ed... so the amt of class hours is not a lot at all.
I try and do some things that are enjoyable... but i can't seem to enjoy them because I feel as though I'm wasting my time when I could be being more productive. That - or I just have zero motivation and want to just lie in bed or sleep the day away ugh. Whoever said University was the "good old days" was seriously delusioned. I think they just selectively attend to the fun stuff and completely forget how hard it is to actually be a student.
Enough complaining though.... so far no SI so all is good. Not actually, but it hasn't gotten to that pt yet.
Thanks for being here... you're an awesome friend my dear, and i miss you.
Hope things with you are well
xoxo

(((((((((P7))))))) Thank you for your support and hugs - much appreciated
I'm actually thinking about contacting my T ... just to see if there have been any cancellations or if there happen to be any, if I can get on her "list." As for my pdoc, I saw her at the beginning of the month and have another appt in aprx 2-3 weeks so its not bad... she's really busy, and pretty much all the dr's are here at the University.
And yes.... I suppose I could call a friend.... but I guess I'm just scared to go "burning bridges" because they've all heard it before and I can't expect them to understand. This sounds sad, but my cats make me feel loved and so tonight I just hung out with them for a while and that helped a bit. Sometimes I just wish that humans were capable for such non-judgemental unconditional love that pets have... it really is such a gift.
Thanks again,
Big Hugs

I'm glad you have your cats, I have two cats and they make me laugh and keep me company - they dont judge or tell you that you should be better - they just love you

take care P7

p.s., good luck with your T i hope there is a cancellation or that you get to talk with your T