[Tmac]

I hurt
I hate myself
I wanna release it all
stopped for years and slipped up recently and forgot how much it released
I am seeing a T for the first time Tuesday and my last slips finally disappearing and dont wanna have to find another excuse

keep telling myself i have been hurt enough not to
the hatred for allowing myself to get this low

I am busting at the seems with emotions i dont want maybe a release will help for the moment i will try to occupy my mind but i have been battling this feeling all day

I hate myself more for falling back into the patterns of my past
I am realizing....they are like shadows on a bright day they will always be with me

No matter how fast i run they follow just as fast

I just need to release the pain
I jujst need to keep telling myself no more excuses but today it is hard

[nowheretorun]

hi T, its so hard to be feeling this way, with fear, worry, pain... struggling for answers we search everywhere for, talk to anyone about, just needing someone to hear.. we can hear you now.... you're doing good in not harming the self.. the path to healing begins with self love... it may seem strange to you now, but T will explain and you can continue coming here for help and info.. i wish you all the best on your new journey with your new family

[Sannah]

Tmac, I am sorry that you are hurting . You are not bad because you are hurting.................