[medo]

So I am in shock these last days. I found out that my bf werith whome I live watches people in building across with binocular. I find this very disturbing and don't know what to think or do.

We live together for two years and we recently moved to a new apartmant. The building across is very near and you can see into apartments at night. At first he made comments about the couple from across. At first I thought it was just curiosity because he never had neighbours so close. He didn't hide that he was interested to check out what they do. Than one day I found binoculars by the window. I was shocked that he would invade someone's privacy like that. It is very creepy. They stayed by that window for days so I took it and moved it and he got pissed. I realised he was using it a lot. SHOCK.
So, I confronted him and he says it was just curiosity, that I can not control what he does....
I guess his method is to give any answer and waiit until I get over it.

We had similar talk about his porn before but I gave up because he either says that he knows it is bad and that he will cut it down but he never does (can't). Or he says I can't expect him not to watch it because he does it his whole life and it does not concern me.

But this new discovery is really disturbing. He today said that he saw one girl naked across the street and he was checking if it will happen again.
I am not sure if it is sexual, does he really want to see nudity or it turns him on he can watch people without them knowing.
What is this ? How worried should I be?
Is this something that is deeper issue?
I appreciate any insight.
(Sorry I am not native English speaker).

[medo]

Noone has any comment?

[gayleggg]

He is right, you can't control what he does. Also, there is the trust issue. Does he tell you he won't do it then do it behind your back. Sounds like he is looking for a cheap thrill, which he could get bored with, hopefully. But it concerns me that he is also watching porn without your approval. If you were watching it with him as a couple I wouldn't be concerned, but if he is doing this in secret, too. There may be something to worry about. I would suggest you get counseling and at some point he might go with you. And then you have to ask if this is what you want the rest of your life.
Good luck.

[medo]

No we don't watch porn together, I don't like it so he does it "behind" my back. But I don't mind it anymore. I think all men watch it because it is so acessible and I do realise that I can't stop him from masturbation. It is his right .
And he has higher sex drive than me so ...this is not an issue that bothers me anymore.
He watches regular stuff, nothing weird as I could see from history.

Where we live counciling is not so common or available. Psychotherapy is very expensive that is not something we can afford really.