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  #1  
Old Aug 24, 2015, 08:58 PM
marriedtoasa marriedtoasa is offline
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My wife confessed to me that she is struggling with sex addiction. She tells me that she hasn't acted on it yet and is struggling because she didn't want to hurt me. But at the same time, she feels like she has an itch she can't scratch. We've talked about it several times and we just don't seem to get anywhere. I feellike we're in limbo. Neither one of us want to get a divorce but this has caused tension in our marriage. What do I do as her partner? Shells wants to do things sexually with me that I'm not comfortable with.. Do I give in?
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  #2  
Old Aug 27, 2015, 09:10 AM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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If you're not comfortable, then it's not consentual.

Are there compromises that can be made, as far as fulfilling any of her fantasies? Is there something going on in her internal world that has brought this about?
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  #3  
Old Aug 27, 2015, 03:10 PM
NYCompulsive NYCompulsive is offline
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Being a partner in a relationship means you try to meet the person half way. Follow your wife's lead at a pace you can accept and open yourself to sexual exploration and pleasure without the societal guilt.

Tell her something that you have fantasized about do that too!

Have Fun!!!
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  #4  
Old Sep 11, 2015, 12:04 AM
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Aaditya Aaditya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marriedtoasa View Post
My wife confessed to me that she is struggling with sex addiction. She tells me that she hasn't acted on it yet and is struggling because she didn't want to hurt me. But at the same time, she feels like she has an itch she can't scratch. We've talked about it several times and we just don't seem to get anywhere. I feellike we're in limbo. Neither one of us want to get a divorce but this has caused tension in our marriage. What do I do as her partner? Shells wants to do things sexually with me that I'm not comfortable with.. Do I give in?
I would suggest that both of you should discuss the issue openly without any inhibitions (presuming that it has not been done already); give it a sincere try with a view to arrive at a middle path. If this does not succeed I would advise seeking professional help- like a visit to a sexologist- as he can certainly be of immense help.

Cheers!
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  #5  
Old Sep 14, 2015, 12:06 PM
counter15 counter15 is offline
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I think that she has to work on her addiction, the big problem is that she might be overdriven by that addiction to the extent that she's indulging in behaviors that can wreck your marriage.
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  #6  
Old Sep 14, 2015, 02:38 PM
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Shaly78 Shaly78 is offline
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You have limits in the bedroom, she doesn't. I can see where that creates a problem. I don't think that makes your wife a sex addict either. I don't understand why you would place that on her unless that is a diagnoses she has. Unless, there has been infidelity for her fulfillment then it's not considered a sex addict in my humble opinion. At any rate, a therapist can sit and discuss what is normal what is the result of someone else's problem. Sex is meant to be enjoyed if not then you have a problem. Are there emotional problems? Is there a history of trauma? Are they self esteem issues? It is a good idea to discuss each of you with a therapist what is happening in that area of your life.
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  #7  
Old Sep 14, 2015, 08:09 PM
FNMM FNMM is offline
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I think that for it to be sex addiction she must actually be having sexual thoughts for the majority of her day and if she's not having sex or being sexually stimulated in some type of way then she will become irritated. Does she seem like she's not in a positive mood when she's not engaging in something sexual? From what I can see, you make it seem like she wants to try different types of sexual activities with you that you are not comfortable with. If you are TRULY not comfortable, then don't do it. But I think you guys can meet somewhere halfway. Relationships are a give and take- maybe try what she wants and then she can try something you want to do! If she truly is a sex addict then she should seek therapy first.
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  #8  
Old Sep 21, 2015, 11:48 PM
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puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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Seek therapy together. It can save her from her addiction but it will help the marriage to grow as well.

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  #9  
Old Dec 20, 2015, 03:08 AM
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Chickenkicker Chickenkicker is offline
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Is she diagnosed/undiagnosed bipolar? At times bipolar hypersexuality can turn a woman into quite a handful.
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  #10  
Old Dec 20, 2015, 09:19 AM
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MountainRunner MountainRunner is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marriedtoasa View Post
My wife confessed to me that she is struggling with sex addiction. She tells me that she hasn't acted on it yet and is struggling because she didn't want to hurt me. But at the same time, she feels like she has an itch she can't scratch. We've talked about it several times and we just don't seem to get anywhere. I feellike we're in limbo. Neither one of us want to get a divorce but this has caused tension in our marriage. What do I do as her partner? Shells wants to do things sexually with me that I'm not comfortable with.. Do I give in?
Is your wife extroverted? Does she like being the center of attention if I may ask? I've been diagnosed with HPD (Histrionic Personality Disorder). Often times those of us who are HPD exhibit "hyper sexuality". If so, there is effective therapy for it...

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
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EarthyMama
  #11  
Old Dec 21, 2015, 10:03 PM
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fantasyland fantasyland is offline
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Originally Posted by Chickenkicker View Post
Is she diagnosed/undiagnosed bipolar? At times bipolar hypersexuality can turn a woman into quite a handful.
This is a very good point. I am diagnosed cyclothymic disorder and when i have "mania" my "sexdrive" drives me to do insane things...
  #12  
Old Dec 27, 2015, 07:05 PM
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Chickenkicker Chickenkicker is offline
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Looking deeper into this...as a bipolar/cyclothymic sufferer...why do some of our moods result in a high sex drive? I don't eat any more...don't excersise more...don't play with the dog more. I wonder why these swings manifest themselves into the desire for more sexual activity? Weird science, man.....
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