Horrid

I have OCD and have been in therapy for years, but what bothers me is my porn addiction. I have seen TRULY disgusting things, and I mean the most grotesque and vile things anyone can imagine. I can't forgive myself at all, because there were terrible things I saw, and recently I was on a porn site, everything was normal and you know, regular porn, until, I came across a specific porn and I looked and I saw that in a general context, It was what I was looking for, but there was a character (It wasn't with real people), and I was morrified and almost vomited. I feel really bad, and been thinking about ending my life because that wasn't the worst thing I've seen, and I got such a good life and family, but I am a monstrous pervert, a horrible person.

@Nanamiau

It sounds like you have seen a lot of terrible things.
It also sounds like you have a family that is dear to you and care about you.
There are terrible things out there on the internet.
You aren't doing those things, but I can imagine seeing those things can be very shocking.

There are things that our body or mind gravitate to that can be hard to control. Some find it in substances or accessible food.
Avoiding being in the situation where you can follow that temptation may be the only way to stop it.
You may want to look into filters on your internet browser to limit your ability to access content like that. There are lots of parental controls out there.

I've been there buddy. It's hard but there is help out there. Please don't give up.