bisexuality? and what to do if i am?

Well, I don't know where to start. I'm 26, male, slim, tall, attractive (so I've been told). I had a late sexual maturation; first time I masturbated was 19, first time I had sex was 22 (with a girl).

I'm married to the only girl I've ever had sex with (never had sex with a guy). I love her alot as a person, and know that both of us would feel lost in this lonely world without the other one. We don't have sex very often, maybe once every 2-3 weeks.

I am not attracted to the naked body, whether male or female. I am only attracted to people if they wear certain clothes, especially if they get wet in their clothes (a fetish called wetlook). The clothes that I am attracted to fit into the emo/scene style, and I like them on both girls and guys. I like them cause they are tight fitting, girly, and dark. I like girly girls and girly guys who wear makeup, accessories, and have long hair. I also like to dress this way, and feel girly myself, especially when I'm horny, and I get turned on alot looking at myself. I'm definitely submissive, and this has created problems with my wife who is also submissive. We each try to be dominant from time to time, but she is actually better than I am at that. I've been accused of being girly by several people including her, especially recently, I guess since I'm very emotional and talkative.

So, am I gay or bi or what? The thing is that I'm not attracted to males or females *exactly*, but what they are wearing. As long as they are slim and moderately attractive, I'm cool with that. I think both male and female genitals are disgusting looking, but I like the submissive feeling of giving my wife oral, and fantasize about giving oral to a guy. And if I am let's just say bi, then what do I do with that? I'm fairly successful at this point in my life. I have a nice house, a car, savings, a great job; much of that tied to my wife since we share everything. Is that worth giving up for the feeling that sometimes I want to be held by and have sex with a guy? I don't think so, but I don't know, especially since I've never experimented with anyone else. And I can't experiment cause my wife has said flat out that we would be over in such a case. I don't believe anything in life is ever perfect, and I usually think that I should just stay with her cause this is as good as things will likely get. Plus, I love her in so many ways; just sexually we aren't very compatible.

As my T always said....
Its not the feeling that's wrong, but rather what you do with it.

What married couple hasn't at one time or another thought of being in the arms of another person? What married couple hasn't had a fantasy of another that made them feel oh so good? What married person hasn't wondered if they might be happier if they were with a different person?

I think you just need to allow your self the right to love your wife while still giving your body the benefit of being a sexual being with sexual feelings that do and will get stirred at times... but by all means do this with in the marital vows you took with your wife, and if change is needed then she must agree with you or there is no change.

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BTW - I too have dealt with the feelings you are talking about today and while I may enjoyed the sexual thrill they gave - I never took part in the pleasure they offered... and I'm glad to say that my husband and I will be celebrating our 24th Anniversary in four months (old desires no longer included).

First off I would say you got married before you ever had a chance to discover you sexual identity which is not only toxic to you but to your wife and the future of your marriage.

I would ask your wife how she feels about you exploring your sexuality but if she isn't on board then you may need to leave her behind.

I've heard the old maxim about being married but what good is a false marriage? I'm not saying that you don't love her but that doesn't mean that you should remain married to her no matter what.

Most importantly be open with her and yourself communicate your needs and hopefully she will understand and support you.